Lol what a grift. I go to an actual sex con twice a year. There are like 500 people. Tickets are less than $100 bucks for an entire weekend. The speakers are actually real speakers who do sex and talks and teach professionally. The classes are usually "we ran out of chairs so stand in the back" full of people interested in the content.

The parties at night are included in your ticket. The entire venue becomes a dungeon. There are meet and greets and online ways to find people to hang or play with. All included.

The only catch is that you have to know about it and you have to be referred to it. Tickets still sell out and there's still a wait-list every single time.

$18,000? Lol. Lmao even.

I guess that's the ticket price for "I have no community, and am not interested in finding one or building community, so I have to pay to pretend to have community."

Sex is awesome. These losers are not.

Also Adam Conover is one of the least sexy people on the planet and makes no sense to be at a sex con.

[–] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I guess that's the ticket price for "I have no community, and am not interested in finding one or building community, so I have to pay to pretend to have community."

This is so spot on. I've been to a $20 Shibari workshop which was super educational and friendly. You could tell a lot of care was put into it. Language was inclusive and felt natural which made the environment feel safe. Solo attendees were welcome, as you could do all the exercises on yourself and I imagine that was partially to make it clear that the focus wasn't on partnering.

If people wanted to stick around there was an "open salon" after the class. Regulars were just hanging out (unobtrusively) and it seemed like good vibes. It was clear to my hyper vigilant ass this was a bit of a vetting session but not in a snobby way, if that makes sense?

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's what good spaces look like. Tickets to cover costs or as a small barrier to entry, good inclusive safe vibes only, and ways for everyone to participate (or the event makes it very clear it's not for everyone which is okay too.)

These spaces exist all over if people put in the effort to go to them with a focus on learning and community building. Just like any community space.

[–] Athena5898@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

How does one poke around for these spaces? I feel the most autistic when it comes to intimacy and sex related things because a whole host of reasons that I'm not going to get into here. With autism I feel like you can learn social things but you kind of have to crash and burn more then the regular person. This is kind of hard to do with things like touch and sex. All of that to say, I have zero idea how you look around for these communities I've heard so much about without hurting one of the Da Rulz. And to clarify I mean in a way that is like "oh hey I'm looking for a Shibari community" "OMG I can't believe you would just ask that!" "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it" "Only a terrible person would ask such a thing" sound of door slamming on relationship

I mean maybe that is just something you have to deal with even without autism, but I just feel way over my head about it.

Edit: in case it needs to be said I do not think the OP event is good in anyway shape for form. It just seems like Infamousblt is experience and thought I would ask. Feel the need to put this cause damn people have been reading the worst possible faith in my shit around here lately

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago (14 children)

A lot of people that I know in kink are autistic so that's definitely not a thing that excludes you from participating in this sort of thing. The good parts of the kink community love clear questions and communication. We would rather people ask a dumb question and be told no, than make a dumb assumption and cross a boundary you couldn't even conceive of because you didn't have enough context to know about.

As far as events, it depends on where you are, but my main suggestion is to start on something like FetLife. Which sucks and is an awful website, but, it's like Facebook for kink and as such basically any kink event is posted there. Then you just find events that you think sound interesting and start going. If you're looking for something even more entry level you can often find munches or queer community events on Facebook or meetup. Friends you make there will eventually trust you enough to talk to you about other more sex forward events.

My recommendation would be to find events that are regularly occurring and not one offs. Also find events whose hosts have complete FetLife profiles that have a history of attending or participating in events. Only go to events that feel safe to you and prioritize events that are explicitly safe to your needs. These sorts of events will have posted policies around consent and inclusivity. Even better if you can find beginner friendly or 101 sort of events. It's always okay to say no. It is always okay to walk out and leave. If any event has any expectation of you other than "be here and follow our guidelines" fucking run.

And then you start going. Most importantly you work through the awkward times. The first time you go to an event, nobody will talk to you. This is because the regulars are tired of meeting people, putting energy into people, and then never seeing them again. Even if you don't really talk to anyone if the event seems like your kind of space, keep going back. Push through the awkward phase. Eventually folks will be like "oh they keep coming" and you'll make friends. Or you won't and that event isn't for you.

Like all community building you start somewhere, go into it with the only expectations being "I want to learn and I want community", and the rest of it will come with time and effort.

Anyway always happy to answer questions about this sort of thing because I was a a baby poly baby queer baby kinkster once too and I only graduated from baby status because people helped me figure it out

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[–] quylaa@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also Adam Conover is one of the least sexy people on the planet and makes no sense to be at a sex con.

That must be why he's no longer on the list of guests.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he backed out after seeing who else was on it and what the event actually was.

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[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 51 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You'd have to pay me $18.000 to hang around with Aella, let alone flirt with her catgirl-disgust

Also took at look at the FAQ out of curiosity and immediately the first question was:

Will I have sex at the event?

followed up by

Will you teach pickup artistry?

and

Where do you stand in the culture war?

Seems like they know their audience pretty well

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

I feel bad for Nina Hartley. Imagine going from being a legend in the adult film scene -- exploitative as it is -- to having to share oxygen with the LSD and garden gnome rope bondage AnCap girl

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[–] hollowmines@hexbear.net 49 points 1 month ago (2 children)

adam conover is certainly a guy who likes attention

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago (3 children)

He likes money, and he will do anything that pays

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[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Ah he is a Writer's Guild rep

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 47 points 1 month ago (3 children)

What's the refund policy?

No refunds after September 11

blocky-wat

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

sorry chad, but the pilots get the girls

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[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

if you can and do drop $10K to practice flirting with paid conference staff in the "VIP" space of a conference, you are without hope for genuine connection in this world.
the "therapist/orgy organizer" professional title combo is giving me "sexual predator/procurer" vibes.

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

big-yud 's partner and former head of comms of his org MIRI btw.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

had to look this guy up. never went to college or high school, but somehow gets to be called a "researcher" and gets published in media and invited to speak at institutions just for writing articles relying on his own thought experiments and vibes as evidence.

a scifi hollywood screenwriter has more to contribute to this topic than this fucking bozo.

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Hey now, you're missing his most important qualification: he wrote a laughably bad ~~objectivist~~ edit: rationalist harry potter fanfiction!

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Rationalist. Objectivist is Ayn Rand which this isn't quite.

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[–] CutieBootieTootie@hexbear.net 40 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Isn't Evolutionary Psychology tied to eugenics. What is a eugenicist doing here

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 45 points 1 month ago

She is also just outspoken pro eugenics.

[–] LoveSupreme@hexbear.net 34 points 1 month ago

looking for a new Evo Psych hot take

ask the sexcon receptionist if their Evo Psycho is race science or sexism

she doesnt understand

pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is race science and what is sexism

she laughs and says “it’s a good panel ma'am"

buy a ticket

its race science

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[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 37 points 1 month ago

The alienation this whole thing implies about our present society makes me genuinely sad.

[–] Crucible@hexbear.net 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If you have to learn how to fuck from Adam Conover you become officially straight no matter how you started

[–] himeneko@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

adam conover withdrew from the event too, even he thinks they cant fuck

[–] theperfidiousOrbweaver@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

Politically straight.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago

This could be anything from a new version of onlyfans, to a dating site, to a rebrand of some "sex positive" "leftist" Nebula type of video essay platform, to an ai sexbot farm. I have no idea and all seem equally plausible.

[–] Krem@hexbear.net 31 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Hello, my name is Meatperson, I am an evolutionary psychologist

Hello, my name is 487h3GHh98094X-C. No not that one, you're thinking of Elon Musk's kid. I'm the other 4576278237hf3788X-C, the philosoper

Hi, my name is CheesyCheese, I'm the co-inventor of LetsFuck.com

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[–] TreadOnMe@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

There are many, many things I disagreed with my philosophy professors about in college, but one thing I absolutely agree with them about is that it is essentially impossible for you to be a 'philosopher' and have any kind of actually unique insights in the philosophical space before you are 40.

I'd make that 50 if you are a Youtuber.

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[–] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

What the fuck is a flirt girl

Edit: Damn on the title alone I was all hopeful this would be like a hip, inclusive and fun Sue Johanson type vibe but now I want to tear my skin off and sit in the shower.

Who is going to make the patriarchal heteronormative bingo card? No one? Good choice, protect your peace lovelies 💕

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

I suspect it's a legally preferable way to say sex worker.

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hosts. Japanese style rather than traditional western restaurant ones.

[–] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yeah, been browsing their website and have never wanted to have sex less in my life

https://slate.com/life/2025/12/women-sex-men-dating-california-trip.html

Of the 150 or so attendees of Slutcon, many of them, like Simon, were either virgins or something close to it. Tickets ranged from $1,000 to $9,000, and the retreat was pitched as a place to learn how to interact with women—as instructed by women themselves. Slutcon is staffed almost entirely by paid and volunteer female sex workers and intimacy experts, and together, they had made themselves available to be touched, seduced, or otherwise experimented on by the novices at any moment during the convention.

In the parlance of Slutcon, these professionals are referred to as its “flirt girls” or, more colloquially, its “flirtees.” Wearing plastic green wristbands that designated their consent, they darted between the men, sultry and warm, prepared to host anyone who endeavored an approach. Men brave enough to try would be rewarded with their most coveted desire: a chance to speak with, caress, or, hell, maybe even have sex with someone they were attracted to in a controlled environment, where fears of offense were nullified. After all, Slutcon is what its founders call “a place to experiment without getting canceled.”

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

Let me amend it. Japanese hosts but way more exploitative

[–] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So this is 100% a grift to teach tech bro investors how to get laid by letting them flirt with sex workers.

[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

I mean, you can actually do that by paying an escort for a LOT less. Even the high-end ones.

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[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Who is going to make the patriarchal heteronormative bingo card? No one? Good choice, protect your peace lovelies 💕

Don't worry, your money is welcome 🤗

What genders are welcome? All genders and gender identities are welcome! This event leans heteronormative in that many sessions focus on classic dynamics between men and women, however anyone is welcome to attend.

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[–] CutieBootieTootie@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago (10 children)

In case anyone didn't recognize the host like I did, it's the eugenics girl with odd proclivities that went viral a couple years ago

She showered 24 times in a given year.

There's nothing wrong with participating in orgies or group sex, but... I can't help but find this odd.

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I don't wanna sound like a prude or anything but # of showers should at least match # of times you had sex

Also lmao days "worked" = 118. That's like 2 days a week, and I can guarantee those aren't 8 hours days.

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[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago (3 children)

pooped: 213

peterson-red

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[–] TreadOnMe@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I guess it says something about my priorities, but how is it possible that she had less "good meals" than sex in a year? How is it that she showered the same number of times as had good meals? What is even going on here?

Edit: This unironically is like an anti-hedonic way to live, a complete rejection of hedonism. Stoicism cosplaying as Hedonism.

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

I completely missed the 24 good meals stat. Like what the fuck are you even doing when you're that rich and you only have a "good meal" once every other week? I'm broke as shit and I still manage better than that jfc. Maybe my standards are lower since I haven't had baby songbird nuggets or rhino steak or whatever the fuck these rich fucks eat but what kind of soulless empty life are you "living" when you have access to a standard of living beyond most people's wildest dreams and you aren't having a "good meal" regularly?

The rich really are completely alien

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[–] IranOuttaOil@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Had sex 41 times? That's vaguely the same figure as the people on the orgy. So she had sex only once in the whole year?

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[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 28 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Jokes on you I don't even know what a sex is

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (5 children)

when two or more people are scared of dying alone...

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[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

How the fuck do you manage to make sex uncool?!

[–] CutieBootieTootie@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

Somebody's getting touched here in a bad way

[–] opiumfree@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

why is carol corrupted

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[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

astronaut-1

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