this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ohh so they not only able to choke people but also give em a shock. This is like the weapons wear by super villain's lackey

[–] Whostosay@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Queue all of these idiots being filmed accidentally shocking each other and then stopping the use of them, but only after whichever acquaintance of dementia Donny's gets a huge payout for the contract.

[–] 0li0li@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I wonder what it does to a gun in the hand. Friendly fire? Mag explosion? Can't wait to find out.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm not trying to make light of this, but given what I've seen from the "best and brightest" ICE has to offer, I think we are gonna wind up with a bunch of morons with singed micro-penises.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

They could be into that.

I bet they’re into that

[–] SarahFromOz@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

The world is getting a bit dystopian for me....

[–] Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

This will absolutely not be used to abuse human rights and to torture people who can't fight back.

Jesus, USA, it's really hard watching from the outside what the MAGAs are doing with a country that was once - while by far not perfect - on a pretty good trajectory regarding improvement of civil rights. You lost all that in about a decade or two.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Its worse.

Can you tell the difference from across the street between shock gloves and regular gloves? Its so they can use excessive force that doesnt look like it.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Good point, though I would expect the effects of these gloves on the victim to be visible from across the street. That’s assuming they are like tasers. People react pretty visibly.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"The gloves werent on, the perpetrator was faking"

"The gloves malfunctioned"

ZAP "STOP RESISTING!" ZAP "I SAID STOP RESISTING!" ZAP "STOP STRUGGING!"

"Those were regular gloves, not the shock gloves."

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[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

You lost all that in about a decade or two.

On the surface, yeah, but I'd argue that the plan to remove civil rights had been underway for ~50yrs before. And more than that, it's also been a recurring theme that dates back to before the very founding of the country, via slavery, genocide and so forth.

[–] rayyy@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

History lesson. Hitler took the Rhineland and nobody did squat - he accelerated. Putin took Crimea and nobody did anything. The orange pedophile allowed ICE goons to kill Renee Nicole Good and Alex Jeffrey Pretti and there was no push-back so he upped his game. It only stops when there is equal or greater force used.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Death to ICE
Nazi lives don't matter

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Yeah, same as the IDF.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 month ago

Pain compliance is not de-escalation. Pain compliance is assault.

We've been through this conversation before with Tasers, which are meant to be used as an alternative to lethal force,¹ but are routinely used by law enforcement and state paramilitaries before they would draw a firearm. While commonplace in the United States, that is deliberate misuse.

If ICE were following actual policing protocol, they'd stick to shock wands, which look like what they do. Electric gloves have the same purpose as sap gloves (gloves loaded with shot), which is to give the illusion that less force is being applied than actually is. They are intended to make violence caught on video less evident.

¹ Tasers are technically less lethal and victims are killed by them uncommonly.

[–] Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I would say super soakers but we all know they'd shoot you for "having a gun".

don't forget to add a little salt the water to increase conductivity.

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[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I'll take "people being shocked accused of resisting arrest" for 300!

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago

Florida Man Electrocutes Himself While Masturbating

[–] BigTuffAl@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

okay then we treat with them at 5 yards with buckshot loaded

seems reasonable

they smell like shit anyway

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Yup. The only appropriate response to ICE is to ensure they don't go home at night.

[–] athatet@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

These are the 30-40 feral hogs that we’ve been talking about for so long.

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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

May they consistently forget to take them off when they piss

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Can I interest you in a super-soaker?

[–] dukeofdummies@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

That was genuinely my first thought.

I know people who unknowingly peed on an electric fence. Not fun.

I hope they forget they are wearing them when they go to the bathroom.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I can't wait until they use it on perfectly innocent people for shits and giggles

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 5 points 1 month ago

What they aren't going to try it the day they receive them? Do any of us not play with new toys the same conditions we get them?

[–] cristigyk@piefed.social 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

that's to stop them from touching their crotches.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago

And each other.

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's just the plot of Avatar Legend of Korra!

[–] AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I was literally about to look up a picture of those roght before seeing your comment! The second I read the post title, I thought the exact same thing!

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[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 7 points 1 month ago

ICE plans to spend up to $20 million to purchase thousands of “conductive distraction and de-escalation devices” for officers and agents by March

Distraction and de-escalation? Gee that sounds very reasonable.

Compliant Technologies says the devices function as a normal pair of patrol gloves until officers press a switch to activate their electrical mode. The gloves must be applied directly to someone’s skin to deliver a pain stimulus that typically helps an officer gain compliance within seconds, according to the company.

Ah, so not so much a de-escalation tool as a compliance enforcement device. I'll give ten to one that within a month of deployment we hear stories of them grabbing some poor sod by the nuts with them to make him unlock his phone.

[–] hash@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So stun gun gloves. That's absolutely a weapon aimed at intimidation and "punishment" plain and simple. Stun guns aren't tasers and can't incapacitate someone in the same way. So they intend to use these on unarmed people. Even the most bastard cops know that stun guns make no sense for police.

So these gloves are super fucked and really exactly what a fascist force would like to use on people, but honestly it's so blatant this is going nowhere. The first time these were used a judge would rip ICE a new one. I'll bet everyone forgets about this pretty fast and the gloves never happen.

[–] mangaskahn@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Repeat after me: The cruelty is the point. In order to get a judge to rule that these can't be used, a case has to be brought in front of one. The gloves can easily be deployed and used for intimidation and punishment in the field until a case makes its way through the system, then if it ends up in front of an administration friendly judge, it could be ruled in their favor.

[–] themaninblack@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

This will first be tested in the fifth circuit court of appeals.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago
[–] teslasdisciple@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe they'll do a lot of high-fives and this whole thing will solve itself

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[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Dude who slipped on ice is defo gonna shock himself scratching his ass with these

[–] forbiddencherry@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago

Minority Report sick sticks when?

[–] rayyy@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The shock from these gloves can kill you. Consider it deadly force. Proceed accordingly.

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

until the inevitable incident where they high-five each other

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

Seems they're spending lots of money on the paramilitary and very little on the citizens. Someone will be herded like sheep in the very near future. Guess which one?

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wat? Doesnt the second avatar series have people who fight with shocker gloves? Reality really is stranger than fucking fiction.

[–] Geldaran@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

My first thought was the Babylon 5 slaver gloves. I mean they're already the villains. might as well go full evil.

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[–] Bluedragon012@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

So shoot from a form of a bunker, got it.

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 2 points 1 month ago
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