No Stupid Questions

Here you go, a quiet toilet with built in tp holder. And its free.

(A rusty one?)

The simple answer is, porcelain is fairly durable, nonreactive and, well, smooth. You don't want a material that's prone to sticking in any way. The shape needs to be a certain way for the water to do away with... things, and not go everywhere.

That sucks when you have one of the THBPLTPLTBPHLTHLPTHPLTPPL ones in company, though.

Own it. I installed an amp and a reverb pedal in my toilet.

Because porcelain, in the shape of a bowl, is incredibly good at staying relatively clean and being easy to clean when it eventually does get dirty. Those are the most important properties you want for something that you literally shit into.

You have no idea the relative luxury you're currently complaining about. Try a solid stainless steel prison toilet. They're torturously cold to sit on in the winter, and also shorter with a higher water level.

If you don't grab ahold of Mr. Winky before sitting down he's going to be bobbing in the water you're shitting into. Make sure you grab from the base of the balls, of they're just going to plié down into the icy water too.

Oh look, a shit post.

Ask my father, he has never triumphed as loud and as long as he ever has on a steel one as he has on a ceramic one. He was a music teacher, so the resonance is important to him.

Rules to live by:

1. Don't be embarrassed by your body, nor the sounds and smells it makes. We are creatures of matter, not ethereal beings of light
2. The toilet is a sacred place where social mores are relaxed. Just don't talk to other people while you're relieving yourself or getting your dick sucked
3. Seriously, why are you on the phone in the bathroom? I'm trying to read in here!
4. Wash your hands
5. If you see someone leave a bathroom without washing their hands, and you see that person soon after with a group of people, it is your solemn doody to walk up to their companion, point at them with a fully extended arm, and say slightly louder than socially acceptable "THEY DIDN'T WASH THEIR HANDS". Walk away with no other comment

You could shit into a open pit latrine or something.

I mean, there’s only so many ways to contain water and catch waste efficiently.

The thing that makes it echoy is what makes it easier to clean.

The hard surface is resonant but also easier to clean.
The shape is out of necessity too, it needs to be big enough to sit on, but flushing also needs to be able to funnel the water to flush properly.
If you can figure out a non resonant material that is suitable for the job, you could be very rich very fast.

Yes they're made of pure trombonium.

factoid: Three modern toilet improvements were invented and patented in the late 1800s by Thomas Crapper, including the floating ballcock.

All hail the butt trumpets.

It is to teach people to be proud and loud

The material and shape serve the primary function. Reducing noise probably wasn't a factor while designing it, as it doesn't really matter.

Because it's beautiful.

You described it very poetic.

Especially before I knew I had gluten issues and was shitting 6+ times a day, I experienced a variety of materials across countries. Even toilets made entirely of plastic/polymers have basically the same issue. My second "real" rental in japand, and one of my in-laws, had those. Doesn't really change much.

(The "real" above is because I lived in share houses a couple of times)

Look at this rich mf with a brass toilet

You already got your answer, so I’m gonna be sarcastic… sorry.

It’s a skill issue, stop playing the brown notes.

Get one of those NASA space toilets where the suction acts as a muffler.

I once used a really nice bidet on a vacation to Europe. It wasn't the cheap ones that are offered in the US that are basically just toilet seat attachments, everything was built in. It was porcelain but the sides were stainless steel. There was no handle to flush the toilet, but when you sat down and let your arms hang by your side you would feel a slight protrusion on the right side that your fingers would naturally press and out popped a remote control that would start the cleaning process. You could select the water temperature, the spraying pattern, the air dry temperature and a couple of other things. There was no toilet paper involved at all and you would be completely clean and dry afterwards. It was also self cleaning, and pretty much soundproof. I started my session with a loud fart and it was barely audible. Oh, and when we first checked into the room there were rose petals in the water in the toilet. So quiet toilets are out there but they cost multiple thousands of dollars. But they're worth every penny.

Well, it's not like it's made of wood and have strings

Yes, comedy.

That's part of the fun!