Bonus: Alex Hirsch is the creator of Gravity Falls
There was a Scary Door episode about this.
this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2026
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Calling something out to be the plot of a fictional television series inside of a fictional universe and television series is wild stuff.
Why is he so interested in having people upload schedules of what their kids are doing?
Avoiding the obvious reference to fiddling, I think these tech companies need kids to be as reliant and addicted to their products as possible. TikTok and Youtube were the trailblazers in the electronic addiction economy.
And also knowing your children's schedule is a good predictor for wealth.
funny thing is the techbros own kids are shielded away fromthe brainrot, they made sure they go to montiserri private school away from tech.
He's kind of the most evil business man ever, because:
- he believes/knows climate change to be real
- he understands that society reducing its energy consumption has the power to reduce or reverse climate change
- nonetheless, Sam Altman sells a product that does almost nothing, (certainly doesn't do what it says on the tin very well)
- and is relying on everyone massively increasing their energy consumption to power the roll-out of this.
Adults are stubborn and set in their ways. Kids are easier to mould to new ideas.
If they can get the kids hooked on AI tools, they'll run with it until they're old enough to be making the decisions and by then they'll want the tools they've grown up using: AI.
It's a marketing strategy, and an effective one at that.
That, and Altmans probably got a comfortable seat on the Epstein list.
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This is what someone needs to push, you know why, I know why, now let the world know why!!
Because they want the next generations to be as completely addicted to and reliant on their product for everything as possible. And because he's rich, and has rich friends, so... you know. :/
his master, anti-christ thiel demands it thats why.
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Anyone who would willingly listen to an AI-generated podcast is a person I have zero interest in ever interacting with. I feel like once you learn someone is actually doing that, a serious intervention is required.
Based alex hirsch moment
Common W moment
Imagine sitting around all day thinking of every way to stop people from thinking for themselves 🤯
When your goal is to control the masses that’s exactly what you want.
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This is what psychopaths think parenting is.
NOT talking to Your Children is the EXACT Family Values JESUS teaches!
-Republicans!
Thank you for your Attention in this Matter.
Jesus didn’t even have kids. Based
When I first read this I didn't think anything of it cause I thought it was some rando
Now I'm realizing it's Sam Altman 😭
Same, I thought it was some linkedin lunatic 😨
It is
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Wasn't this stuff supposed to cure cancer? Instead, it's making podcasts?
There are versions of these machine learning and statistical programs that are making headway in all sorts of medical research. That was, and is still happening.
I am starting to think that this whole ai push, along with making all these companies insane amounts of money at the cost of regular folks, is ultimately to further attack the human intelligence. The number of people I know personally and secondhand that let chatgpt make all their decisions, even the simplest ones. And they'll use it as a truth source, treat it like a person (it's not even anything close to approaching intelligence). It's going to go poorly for us as a whole.
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On the instant I knew this was a satire.
Then I looked who the OP was.
Fucking can't make this shit up.
Is this why there's a limited life expectancy for dynasties?
did he hear it on the podcast that he'd generated
These people are using the hallucination generator to hallucinate hallucinations that help them hallucinate more hallucinations
"Ha! Jokes on you as my kids won't even talk to me!", he cried into his buckwheat pillow.
I dont get it. What would th epodcat actually talk about?
Right? It's not like the kid's soccer game is part of the AI's programming, it won't know anything about it that you don't tell it. It can't go over who they're playing against, or give their record so far, or provide any other new information about it, so what exactly is it going to say?
Then the birthday will still be "coming up" every day until the day itself arrives, so what is there to say about that that would be interesting and new on a daily drive?
That just leaves "some news," at which point you might as well turn on the radio, or put on a real podcast.
Doesn't matter so long as Altman just got geographic time stamps of where you your spouse your children and what activities they like to participate in at all times.
That's what I was thinking about. In theory there could be a cool idea here. But using AI to do it would just give shitty results. But you could actually do a little research and find a few short articles or stories about things your kid is interested in, and then feed them into a decent TTS and edit it together like a podcast. Then where they would normally take a pause for an ad read have a little shout out wishing your kid a happy birthday or wishing them luck on their exams or competition or whatever. I think it could actually be pretty neat, and give you something to chat about while you listen, and having the little personalized messages would feel like magic to the kid, because it's kind of like getting a shout out on Radio/Television. It can be exciting and make you feel bigger than just your small social bubble. It's exciting to have a little 30 seconds of fame.
But obviously Altman is just grasping at straws to shill his product, and hasn't put this much thought into it.
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I don't recognize your name and I'm going to be around, so I'm not going to instantly delete it. You need to provide an archived link for this, Rule 6. Anyone can help, you all have an hour. Next time I will delete automatically.
"super cool life hack... If your kids are disappointing because you're in constant fear of being found out to be a fraud, with your kids being walking reminders of your failed life, just stop talking to your kids. Tell my lying machine that IT is your kid now, and it won't judge you!"
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