this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2026

399 points (97.4% liked)

Dull Men's Club

4590 readers

775 users here now

An unofficial chapter of the popular Dull Men's Club.

1. Relevant commentary on your own dull life. Posts should be about your own dull, lived experience. This is our most important rule. Direct questions, random thoughts, comment baiting, advice seeking, many uses of "discuss" rarely comply with this rule.

2. Original, Fresh, Meaningful Content.

3. Avoid repetitive topics.

4. This is not a search engine
Use a search engine, a tradesperson, Reddit, friends, a specialist Facebook group, apps, Wikipedia, an AI chat, a reverse image search etc. to answer simple questions or identify objects. Also see rule 1, “comment baiting”.

There are a number of content specific communities with subject matter experts who can help you.

Some other communities to consider before posting:

5. Keep it dull. If it puts us to sleep, it’s on the right track. Examples of likely not dull: jokes, gross stuff (including toes), politics, religion, royalty, illness or injury, killing things for fun, or promotional content. Feel free to post these elsewhere.

6. No hate speech, sexism, or bullying No sexism, hate speech, degrading or excessively foul language, or other harmful language. No othering or dehumanizing of anyone or negativity towards any gender identity.

7. Proofread before posting. Use good grammar and punctuation. Avoid useless phrases. Some examples: - starting a post with "So" - starting a post with pointless phrases, like "I hope this is allowed" or “this is my first post” Only share good quality, cropped images. Do not share screenshots of images; share the original image.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

PriorityMotif@lemmy.world

399

I joined the bidet club (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dull_mens_club@lemmy.world

195 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[+] Merman_Gothique@lemmy.world 72 points 1 month ago (7 children)

[deleted]

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hi I’m from the TP lobby, but don’t you want to smear poo around on yourself with a piece of paper that will probably rip anyway and get it all over your hand too? 🥺

[–] snoons@piefed.ca 7 points 1 month ago

I can't believe people don't want to feel their own buttholes. Smh my head.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago

American Conservatives think washing buttholes is the ghey.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As someone from a country where bidets are normalized, I was horrified when I learned what the toilet paper in Western cartoons was actually used for.

[–] captchacrunch@piefed.social 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wait you don't use both?

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] plaztek@piefed.ca 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Mostly speculation on my part and remembering conversations from decades ago, but at least in the US among men, anything touching your butthole = gay. Using a bidet is something those effeminate Europeans use and not something for manly Americans. These same men think that actually cleaning your butthole in the shower is also gay. Fortunately this mainly seems to be a mindset that older generations hang onto, as I talk to younger folks (Millennial and younger), they seem to be much more open to bidet usage. I have one installed at home and I don't feel clean if I have to do my business somewhere without one.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

I've noticed this as well and have starting using bidets as a quality of life improvement flex.

Hard to pretend you're the man when you're walking around with a nasty ass and I'm over here feeling fresh as fuck on the hottest day of the summer.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 month ago

I put off getting one for a long time just because I didn't see a problem with the way things were going. If only I had realized sooner how much better life could be.

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 4 points 1 month ago

Gay: remotely squirting water at your butt. Not gay: shoving your hand up your butt covered by the world thinnest paper.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca 47 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Oh wow. Look at Mr. moneybags over here with the Japanese Toto Washlet.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Costco + coupon + birthday = clean butt

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Good old birth day rim job.

load more comments (5 replies)

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The irony of Japan - world's finest toilets and no Mexican food.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's a fancy one. Mine only has two settings, drinking fountain on my butthole or power wash the inside of my colon.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mine was literally the cheapest I could find (Amazon flash sale during COVID for maybe $30?) and isn't even powered, but still manages to have a continuous knob to adjust pressure, along with three buttons for where to aim the spray (butt, front, and self-clean).

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, same. Cheap, no power other than my water pressure and no warming either so the water is always cold. 🥶

But, it gets the job done.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Get ready for the experience of traveling, needing a shit and then realizing there won't be a bidet.

load more comments (5 replies)

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Welcome. Others are beneath you now, but remain kind.

[–] Aceofspades@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago

Agreed. Those walking around in their own filth are not savages, they just do not know any better.

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Captain's Log

[–] 5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don’t name your shit. That’s childish.

Tap for spoiler

Even though Captain‘s Log would be a great name

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

[–] shittydwarf@piefed.ca 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The greater good

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago

I will risk shitting myself if it means running upstairs to use my bidet

[–] Strider@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (9 children)

Confused congrats from Germany.

Is that really what you call a bidet? Because our bidets here are unrelated to the toilet and that's a Japanese toilet. The bidet is the one for washing https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet.

load more comments (9 replies)

[–] philanthropicoctopus@thelemmy.club 6 points 1 month ago

Welcome aboard to the clean anus club

I never understood it till I tried it but its incredible

[–] HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Wish I could join the club but my wife is resistant. She's grossed out by the concept and wouldn't use the toilet that has it.

She has weird OCD issues like that (butt I still love her with all my heart).

It sucks because I went to Japan earlier this year and my room had one of these, which made me realize that someone hasn't experienced the best life has to offer until they've had their butthole power washed by one of these things.

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Buy one for a lesser used toilet and dare her to use it once. I bet she doesn’t go back.

OCD doesn’t stand a chance against a freshly washed ass.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] NullPointerException@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago (11 children)

I have a question. Does it heat up the water? The first jet that hits you is already warm? Water can be pretty cold around here.

[–] bluGill@fedia.io 8 points 1 month ago

I have had them both ways. I can't tell the difference. Cold water sounds awful but in my experience you can't tell.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

This one can heat the water.

load more comments (9 replies)

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

You're in for a treat. Far superior.

[–] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

i`ve never used the kind that hook to the seat but i do love my separate fixture one. It kind of makes me hate vacation to have to use toilet paper.

[–] nousername@lemmus.org 5 points 1 month ago (15 children)

Shouldn't that outlet, be a GFI outlet? Literally to uh, save your ass.

load more comments (15 replies)

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I was at a friend's house and he has a bidet. Seat warmer automatic lid actuator, and everything. It was nasty, though, so I started wondering if the bidet actually makes sure to not blast the remains of whomever's last night's taco bell diarrhea straight into my small intestines or if we're poop buddies now by means of involuntary stool transplant.

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] bluGill@fedia.io 5 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I'm trying to figure out what one I can donate to scout camp. I didn't miss anything else from home, and even wished there wasn't AC in the adult meeting room. But the bidet was dearly missed a few times. Anyone know of an affordable bidet that will stand up to teenage boys?

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Garden Hose should do the job.

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Probably the external, steel sprayer type. It’s not as glamorous but I feel like anything built into a toilet seat is going to get abused beyond its design, and probably piss all over the hard-to-clean areas.

I see those fairly often at daycares and kid facilities.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] Bo7a@piefed.ca 5 points 1 month ago

Every time I have to use the washroom outside of our house I am reminded that most of these people are out there raw-dogging life with a dirty butthole for most of their lives.

It really helps to bring everyone down to the same level. And that level is directly below anyone with a bidet!

[–] Aceofspades@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

Welcome to the clean ass club!

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I bought one and never installed it... Its got the warm water feature and the heated seat. Just never pulled the trigger.

But (pun intended) I hope to put in service soon.

[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (8 children)

I think more people would have these if they had an outlet right behind their toilet

load more comments (8 replies)

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Your electrical outlet looks horrified. Presumably because of the view.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Bidetception. Sitting on one, typing this.

load more comments (3 replies)

load more comments