this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 70 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah. We're unhappy because your slow ass won't get out of the way! XD

[–] UnCollaredCarrot@piefed.zip 60 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)
[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

wow, this dude is everywhere!

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[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You're just mad because we're in front.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

Nah. It's because you're so proud to be an obstacle.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 45 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The light you see would be blue shifted because of the speed you're going and become gamma rays for you. Radio waves would shift to visible light. So you would see radio.

If you would move that fast on the ground, you'd slam into air molecules at light speed, causing a huge shockwave like a continuous Hiroshima nuke going of. That would make you sad.

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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Any moth expert wanna comment on that now that it's moth month?

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Do these fine gentlemen look unhappy to you?

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

My god! Look at their form.

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[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago
[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

"People in a hurry are experiencing stress."

[–] craftrabbit@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

--rant start--

I hate it I hate it such a shitty implication. This headline implies that walking fast makes you sad, but I'm willing to bet a lot that the study didn't actually find such a causal connection.

My guess is that the causal link is stress here. Stressed people walk faster and are also sad.

So make the headline say "scientists say stressed people walk fast" or something because someone will try walking slowly in hopes of that bringing happiness

--rant end--

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

But the headline doesn't imply a causal connection, it's your own bias that does

I read it and immediately assumed it's because stressed people walk faster

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[–] bryophile@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I agree with your rant, this kind of title is annoying.

I do however also think that doing slow mindful walks will help against stress, so the implication that slow walking brings happiness is not a bad implication. Stressed out fast walking people really should try it. There's no reason to be in a hurry all of the time.

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[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hmmm actually ☝️🤓 Sonic don't walk fast, he runs fast.

Because he's addicted to ~cocaine~

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He’s not addicted. He can quit anytime he wants. He just really loves doing it.

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[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

True. Walking fast makes me very unhappy with all the slow walkers

[–] d00ery@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Analyses for specific causes of death showed that participants with low walking speed had about a threefold increased risk of cardiovascular death.

https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.b4460

[–] Gormadt@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

If I walk fast enough I can outrun death

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah I'm unhappy about all these slow mother fuckers that are always in my way.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Depending on how slow the people in front of me are, I'm also more homicidal! At least Sonic has a lethal spin dash for such occasions.

[–] FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The problem with being faster than light is that you only see darkness...

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[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Idk I walk pretty fast and I’m pretty happy, aside from my crippling depression.

[–] QualifiedKitten@discuss.online 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So, you're telling me that if I just walk slower, I'll be happier?

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Have you tried just walking slower?

[–] Dotdashdot@feddit.uk 4 points 2 weeks ago

Got yelled at by the twat behind me, wouldn’t recommend.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It used to be that when my girlfriend and I were walking, she would always be rushing me by walking much faster. After starting my current job, I've become the fast walker, always having to slow down for her.

Uhhh I'm not sure I like the implication of this is

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

You know...

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

But in sonic world, happy people run fast, sad people skate.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago

Now I know why I walk fast

[–] LoonyLenny 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Gotta go pee!

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 5 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Honestly I’ve been very conscious of this lately as a fast walker and it turns out even when I’m in the best mood it’s just fucking painful to walk slow. I feel the same way driving slow in a car with a turbo — the car wants to move fast.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] thatKamGuy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

Lemmy only accepts bespoke, artisanal, hand-crafted shitposts.

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] workerONE@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe cognitive decline makes you more happy

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[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 4 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Some of y'all have never watched a 200kg / 440lb southern woman walk. She is not happy. And I'm not happy to be walking behind her.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 2 points 2 weeks ago

Just travel with climbing gear.

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[–] 4grams@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Tracks, I walk so fast it makes people upset with me. I just hate wasting time, why not get where you are going quickly. I’m also deeply unhappy.

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

said… people content to be slow? Or… might these be… most kindly… and not shaming anyone… lazy assed bitches?

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

This can’t be true although I only have anecdotal evidence to back up my claim.

It’s me. I’m unhappy and a very slow walker.

[–] avg@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago

Correlation does not imply causation, in this case it doesn't mean that sad people walk fast. A few years ago there was a similar study that said that people that walked faster were healthier or something, the reality was that younger people walk faster, they also happen to be healthier than older people.

In this case, it's entirely possible that younger people are fucking depressed due to the state of everything.

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