this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 70 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yeah. We're unhappy because your slow ass won't get out of the way! XD

[–] UnCollaredCarrot@piefed.zip 60 points 1 month ago (6 children)
[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

wow, this dude is everywhere!

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[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're just mad because we're in front.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 month ago

Nah. It's because you're so proud to be an obstacle.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 45 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The light you see would be blue shifted because of the speed you're going and become gamma rays for you. Radio waves would shift to visible light. So you would see radio.

If you would move that fast on the ground, you'd slam into air molecules at light speed, causing a huge shockwave like a continuous Hiroshima nuke going of. That would make you sad.

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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Any moth expert wanna comment on that now that it's moth month?

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do these fine gentlemen look unhappy to you?

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My god! Look at their form.

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[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago
[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

"People in a hurry are experiencing stress."

[–] craftrabbit@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 month ago (5 children)

--rant start--

I hate it I hate it such a shitty implication. This headline implies that walking fast makes you sad, but I'm willing to bet a lot that the study didn't actually find such a causal connection.

My guess is that the causal link is stress here. Stressed people walk faster and are also sad.

So make the headline say "scientists say stressed people walk fast" or something because someone will try walking slowly in hopes of that bringing happiness

--rant end--

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

But the headline doesn't imply a causal connection, it's your own bias that does

I read it and immediately assumed it's because stressed people walk faster

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[–] bryophile@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I agree with your rant, this kind of title is annoying.

I do however also think that doing slow mindful walks will help against stress, so the implication that slow walking brings happiness is not a bad implication. Stressed out fast walking people really should try it. There's no reason to be in a hurry all of the time.

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[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hmmm actually ☝️🤓 Sonic don't walk fast, he runs fast.

Because he's addicted to ~cocaine~

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He’s not addicted. He can quit anytime he wants. He just really loves doing it.

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[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

True. Walking fast makes me very unhappy with all the slow walkers

[–] d00ery@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Analyses for specific causes of death showed that participants with low walking speed had about a threefold increased risk of cardiovascular death.

https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.b4460

[–] Gormadt@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 month ago

If I walk fast enough I can outrun death

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

Yeah I'm unhappy about all these slow mother fuckers that are always in my way.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Depending on how slow the people in front of me are, I'm also more homicidal! At least Sonic has a lethal spin dash for such occasions.

[–] FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The problem with being faster than light is that you only see darkness...

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[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Idk I walk pretty fast and I’m pretty happy, aside from my crippling depression.

[–] QualifiedKitten@discuss.online 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So, you're telling me that if I just walk slower, I'll be happier?

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Have you tried just walking slower?

[–] Dotdashdot@feddit.uk 4 points 1 month ago

Got yelled at by the twat behind me, wouldn’t recommend.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It used to be that when my girlfriend and I were walking, she would always be rushing me by walking much faster. After starting my current job, I've become the fast walker, always having to slow down for her.

Uhhh I'm not sure I like the implication of this is

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

You know...

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago

But in sonic world, happy people run fast, sad people skate.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

Now I know why I walk fast

[–] LoonyLenny 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Gotta go pee!

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 5 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Honestly I’ve been very conscious of this lately as a fast walker and it turns out even when I’m in the best mood it’s just fucking painful to walk slow. I feel the same way driving slow in a car with a turbo — the car wants to move fast.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] thatKamGuy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Lemmy only accepts bespoke, artisanal, hand-crafted shitposts.

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] workerONE@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe cognitive decline makes you more happy

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[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 4 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Some of y'all have never watched a 200kg / 440lb southern woman walk. She is not happy. And I'm not happy to be walking behind her.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 2 points 1 month ago

Just travel with climbing gear.

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[–] 4grams@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Tracks, I walk so fast it makes people upset with me. I just hate wasting time, why not get where you are going quickly. I’m also deeply unhappy.

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

said… people content to be slow? Or… might these be… most kindly… and not shaming anyone… lazy assed bitches?

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This can’t be true although I only have anecdotal evidence to back up my claim.

It’s me. I’m unhappy and a very slow walker.

[–] avg@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

Correlation does not imply causation, in this case it doesn't mean that sad people walk fast. A few years ago there was a similar study that said that people that walked faster were healthier or something, the reality was that younger people walk faster, they also happen to be healthier than older people.

In this case, it's entirely possible that younger people are fucking depressed due to the state of everything.

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