Isn’t he the leak?!?
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And that’s basically it!
"We'll stop at nothing to find him" the man says, standing in front of his own wanted poster.
"We're all trying to find the guy who did this." 🌭


God damnit this sketch gets posted so many times these days. And it fits every time.
I love this sketch. It is comedy gold
Spoiler: it’s him
It's the whisky
A lot of jokes itt, but this is more fascism.
Making fun of fascists can often be just as satisfying as punching them. Both is best, of course...but one or the other will also do.
"The leaks are coming from inside the SecDef's office!"
“We’re gonna be so good on OpSec from now on.”
miley cyrus launches joint task force to track down the real identity of hannah montana
Shtrike forsh!
Hotdog.gif
Do I look like I know what a jay-peg is?
Isn't this like the first step in the establishment of fascism
Have your general squash or dissenters in the ranks.
Pretty much
This is what happens when you and everyone around you is incompetent.
anti-whistleblower, anti-snitching task force.
The leak is coming from inside the building.
He's... He's in the room.
My God, who is this sonofabitch?!
Most transparent administration in US history, folks. /s
The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
If you weren't doing so much stupid, illegal shit, then you wouldn't have to worry about leaks.
Paying someone to hold his phone when he's been drinking, so it's a full-time position.
Joint Strike force is Joint because he needs supervision
If it's anything like other Hegseth strike forces, he will pay those informants handsomely, do nothing to them, and learn nothing.
Meanwhile pausing CMMC. Again.
Oh, good. That means the endeavor is as good as lost. If they WERE making any progress, it's done now.
His office then proceeded to send out an urgent memo with the title written in all caps comic sans "TAKE US SERIOUSLY, IT IS MADATORY"
This is a bit like when I pretend I didn’t fart and it’s just me in the elevator alone.

The call is coming from inside the house.
Final report recommendation: Keep your phone at home when your blitzed, Kegsbreath...
Source: Kegseth accidentally texted me about the change
Is he going to surrender to them too?