this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] Aradino@hexbear.net 58 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm surprised they even recovered slush tbh

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Aradino@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It seems like they did to identify what they handed back and also had a couple buckets of them(plural)

[–] Goblinmancer@hexbear.net 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Take some random sea slurp and claim it was rich people corpse #beastmodescam

[–] Wolfman86@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Like anyone would know the difference....

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

No, he didn't die, and I've got the bucket of slop to prove it

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

So they say

[–] ClassIsOver@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

Plot twist: it's ambergris

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 57 points 1 month ago (3 children)

All I can think about is the resources and time wasted recovering the puddles of these rich bozos from a submersible they signed a waiver to board, a waiver which noted it was an untested, experimental vehicle

A vehicle which was piloted with a fucking logitech controller of a model I owned that was absolute dogshit, but I bought because I was cheap and poor

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

The Logitech control pad, cheap and shitty as it was compared to something better or even purpose-built, was probably the least problematic issue with that sub.

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It was more what it represented

If they couldn't even spring for a decent usb controller you could get in a Best Buy in 2015, what else were they not spending on

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah, that's a very good point.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The son was basically still a kid, he’s the only one I really feel bad for.

The old man apparently knew that the submersible was made of crap and extremely dangerous. The fact he didn’t think to maybe warn the others makes it hard to feel any kind of sympathy for him.

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I may be going off an op-ed piece, but I heard that the kid didn't want to be on that sub and his dad pretty much pushed him into going.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

This ended up being debunked iirc

[–] poster596@hexbear.net 45 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

She said “there wasn’t much they could find” of her family’s remains, which were recovered from the seabed and separated and DNA-tested by the US Coast Guard.

They have a big pile they can’t separate, all mixed DNA, and they asked if I wanted some of that, too.

[–] uSSRI@hexbear.net 38 points 1 month ago

Finish your pile of identified rich guy slush, then you can have little a mixed DNA slush

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think the men goo should be returned to the sea.

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 28 points 1 month ago

that sauce belonged on the pasta plate of a giant squid put it back bocchi-head-shake

[–] EveningCicada@hexbear.net 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What are they even gonna do with the forbidden slurpee? Just leave them be at the bottom of the sea.

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Saymaz@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

That is a Hexbear original sicko I'll have you know. We love our sickos here.

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[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

Yeah the crabs were enjoying a succulent meat slurry meal sicko-crab

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Carrying around the billionaire Hi-C Ecto Cooler juice box when I slip and accidentally turn it into a Jackson Pollock

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

I'm back and forth between hahaha and visible-disgust

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago (5 children)

“My first thought was, thank God,” Dawood told the newspaper. “When they said catastrophic, I knew Shahzada and Suleman didn’t even know about it. One moment they were there and the next they weren’t. Knowing they didn’t suffer has been so important. They’re gone, but the way they went does somehow make it easier.”

Uhh... No. There's been reports that they have audio recording of them realizing what was happening and were in a blind panic. They scrubbed said report from the main media outlets though.

[–] Johnny_Arson@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

Yeah it cannot be easy to spend your last moments knowing that your hubris is about to turn you into a soup like homogenate.

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

Tigger: There's no difference between falling a thousand feet to the jagged rocks below and tumbling out of bed.

Piglet: Oh. Really?

Tigger: Sure. Except for the splat at the end they're practically similar.

[–] BearerOfPickles@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Really? I hadn't heard that at all.

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[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wanna know more, I wanna know what they were saying

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

"What do you mean my millions of dollars can't do anything to prevent being this imminent implosion? how dare I'll see you in cou-"

[–] into_highest_invite@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i don't believe this. i'm not an expert but the explanation i heard of the physics involved was that between the pressure the vessel was under and the failure mode of the carbon fiber hull, any noticeable crack would lead to the immediate smoothiefication of any part of the occupants that wasn't incinerated first. ig anything's possible but unless that recording comes up i'm inclined to believe they had no more information about the safety of that bullshit than when they got on.

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fair, and that thought did occur to me in the back of my min. It's probably the correct analysis that it's wish casting.

i mean, don't get me wrong. listening to stockton rush talk for 10 minutes in that coke can would have me breathing heavy too. there's certainly the possibility he accidentally let slip how the vessel had been progressively cracking apart. it's just it's a weird thing to cover up.

[–] pr06lefs@lemmy.ml 24 points 1 month ago

brutal comments in here lol

[–] William_Nilliam@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

Retvrn to primordial soup

[–] largerfather@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

Rest in pieces

[–] MarxMadness@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

They got the cum in time!

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Should have given her a couple of WHFB skeleton warrior minis, would be more respectful

[–] dragongloss@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

When life gives you slush, you make slushies.

[–] LeonTreatsky@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They probably used a submersible with a standard suction specimen capture rig to slurp up some implosion soup that pooled on the seabed, and gave her two portions of the soup.

[–] D61@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

"Pulp" non-fiction.

kelly

[–] MidnightPocket@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Ms Dawood was meant to be on the trip herself, but gave her ticket to her son.

Jesus that has to feel fucking great

How to make a billionaire smoothie. Step #1, build a backyard submersible. Step #2, add billionaires. Step #3, submerge submersible.

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