I'm surprised they even recovered slush tbh
Chapotraphouse
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.
Do not DNA test the slush
It seems like they did to identify what they handed back and also had a couple buckets of them(plural)
Take some random sea slurp and claim it was rich people corpse #beastmodescam
Like anyone would know the difference....
No, he didn't die, and I've got the bucket of slop to prove it
So they say
Plot twist: it's ambergris
All I can think about is the resources and time wasted recovering the puddles of these rich bozos from a submersible they signed a waiver to board, a waiver which noted it was an untested, experimental vehicle
A vehicle which was piloted with a fucking logitech controller of a model I owned that was absolute dogshit, but I bought because I was cheap and poor
The Logitech control pad, cheap and shitty as it was compared to something better or even purpose-built, was probably the least problematic issue with that sub.
It was more what it represented
If they couldn't even spring for a decent usb controller you could get in a Best Buy in 2015, what else were they not spending on
Yeah, that's a very good point.
The son was basically still a kid, he’s the only one I really feel bad for.
The old man apparently knew that the submersible was made of crap and extremely dangerous. The fact he didn’t think to maybe warn the others makes it hard to feel any kind of sympathy for him.
I may be going off an op-ed piece, but I heard that the kid didn't want to be on that sub and his dad pretty much pushed him into going.
This ended up being debunked iirc

She said “there wasn’t much they could find” of her family’s remains, which were recovered from the seabed and separated and DNA-tested by the US Coast Guard.
They have a big pile they can’t separate, all mixed DNA, and they asked if I wanted some of that, too.
Finish your pile of identified rich guy slush, then you can have little a mixed DNA slush
I think the men goo should be returned to the sea.
that sauce belonged on the pasta plate of a giant squid put it back 
What are they even gonna do with the forbidden slurpee? Just leave them be at the bottom of the sea.
I was going to eat that
Sicko shark!
That is a Hexbear original sicko I'll have you know. We love our sickos here.
Yeah the crabs were enjoying a succulent meat slurry meal 
Carrying around the billionaire Hi-C Ecto Cooler juice box when I slip and accidentally turn it into a Jackson Pollock
I'm back and forth between
and 
“My first thought was, thank God,” Dawood told the newspaper. “When they said catastrophic, I knew Shahzada and Suleman didn’t even know about it. One moment they were there and the next they weren’t. Knowing they didn’t suffer has been so important. They’re gone, but the way they went does somehow make it easier.”
Uhh... No. There's been reports that they have audio recording of them realizing what was happening and were in a blind panic. They scrubbed said report from the main media outlets though.
Yeah it cannot be easy to spend your last moments knowing that your hubris is about to turn you into a soup like homogenate.
Tigger: There's no difference between falling a thousand feet to the jagged rocks below and tumbling out of bed.
Piglet: Oh. Really?
Tigger: Sure. Except for the splat at the end they're practically similar.
I wanna know more, I wanna know what they were saying
"What do you mean my millions of dollars can't do anything to prevent being this imminent implosion? how dare I'll see you in cou-"
i don't believe this. i'm not an expert but the explanation i heard of the physics involved was that between the pressure the vessel was under and the failure mode of the carbon fiber hull, any noticeable crack would lead to the immediate smoothiefication of any part of the occupants that wasn't incinerated first. ig anything's possible but unless that recording comes up i'm inclined to believe they had no more information about the safety of that bullshit than when they got on.
Fair, and that thought did occur to me in the back of my min. It's probably the correct analysis that it's wish casting.
i mean, don't get me wrong. listening to stockton rush talk for 10 minutes in that coke can would have me breathing heavy too. there's certainly the possibility he accidentally let slip how the vessel had been progressively cracking apart. it's just it's a weird thing to cover up.
brutal comments in here lol
Retvrn to primordial soup
two shoeboxes and a straw

Rest in pieces
They got the cum in time!
Should have given her a couple of WHFB skeleton warrior minis, would be more respectful
When life gives you slush, you make slushies.
They probably used a submersible with a standard suction specimen capture rig to slurp up some implosion soup that pooled on the seabed, and gave her two portions of the soup.
"Pulp" non-fiction.

Ms Dawood was meant to be on the trip herself, but gave her ticket to her son.
Jesus that has to feel fucking great
How to make a billionaire smoothie. Step #1, build a backyard submersible. Step #2, add billionaires. Step #3, submerge submersible.