this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Virgin Modern Captains: "I'm worried my ship may get blown up by rockets if I sail there, pwwwwwwweeeessssseeee don't make me do it! doggirl-tears"

Chad Age of Sail Captains: "I will outrun the Spanish AND the Dutch Navies or I'll DIE TRYING gigachad-hd"

[–] Carl@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's not even the captains, it's the investment companies that own the boat.

Perhaps we need a maoist uprising against the boatlords.

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We need to RETVRN to voyaging. Seafaring has been ruined by capitalist speculation, it was way better when some half mad alcoholic recruited you from a pub to go cross the Cape of Good Hope on the slim chance you'd end up back in Liverpool with a boatload of silk and tea.

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

recruited? is that what they call when you feal a crack on the back of your head and wake up on a ship miles out to sea

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Well at least I'm no longer tied to my feudal obligations, and if I don't die I'll get enough money to spend like 2 years tavern-hopping in London!

[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 35 points 2 months ago

We're gonna accelerate the contradictions so much, you may even get tired of accelerating. And you'll say, 'Please, please. It's too many contradictions. We can't take it anymore. Mr. President, it's too much.'

[–] InexplicableLunchFiend@hexbear.net 32 points 2 months ago (5 children)

If you all sail through at the same time, they can't get all of you

Everyone attempts to rush the strait, getting bottlenecked and congested and picked off like flies

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago

Lotsa people don't know this... But if you pretend a chokepoint isn't a chokepoint then no chokepoint is there. Simple. No problems. Also - woke bad.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

haven't seen anybody mention this but if a shitload of ships get wrecked in the strait of hormuz, well, they're no mines but all that wreckage doesn't exactly improve how navigable it will be

[–] hellinkilla@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Can Americanism be this great again?

[–] fox@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

You'd need way way way more ships

[–] MayoPete@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Initial D music intensifies

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

MULTI-CANAL DRIFTING!!

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] InexplicableLunchFiend@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

at the narrowest point the strait is 20 miles wide

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

yeah but even that whole width isn't necessarily usable as it is, I read something like the shipping lanes are like 2 miles wide in either direction? seems like that'd be for a reason idk

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] Indifference_Engine@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

We call it the Three Stooges stratagem

[–] mayakovsky@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago

"The ships yearn for the drones"

a-little-trolling

[–] JustSo@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago

I like when western assets get blownt up but I don't like when the oceans have to cope with even more of our pollution.

sicko-wistful

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago

Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays

[–] AFineWayToDie@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] casskaydee@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'll leave when i'm good and ready!

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

One of the best bits in major network comedies

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

kubrick-stare wet ass c-word

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

it will now be towed outside the environment

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Updated the info on the ship to better reflect its commitment to trying to sneak through SoH

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

confucian proverb: ship going through strait of hormuz sideways is going to...

[–] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago

I think Donald Trump should use the Strait of Hormuz

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

Where are the big beautiful boaters now that their god needs them the most?

[–] merdaverse@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is that a metaphor for the Western economy?

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

I think so. Sadly - the idea isn't mine. I stole the text+image idea from Bluesky.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

Cowards! Stay and fight!! The captain goes down with the ship!!!

[–] VapeNoir@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

Yeah me too

[–] Bieren@lemmy.today 2 points 2 months ago

He wants the escalation