We're so cooked.
My brother in Smith the stock market lost 800,000,000,000 dollars yesterday
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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In an absurdist fantasy novel the wizard would be named Cramer. He's the highest ranking member of the court not of royal blood. His pronouncements are always deeply considered by the powerful. But all the common people know that you always should do the opposite of what he says.
He's the financial world's Wimp Lo. He was trained wrong, as a joke.
most efficient system
classic. he just keeps on talking
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
In a cyberpunk novel, the wizard would be an LLM that is somehow guaranteed to always give you an incorrect but believable answer to any question
So just an LLM then
no sometimes the LLM hallucinations match reality
Although sometimes this is the same as liberalism accidentally coming to the right conclusion for the wrong reasons
Trump yells at an aide "Put in Trump wins in Iran by September in bullet points and print it out." The aide does so. Trump grabs the paper and after about 15 seconds he says "Knew it. I-knew-it I-knew-it I-knew-it. Almost as smart as me. So - very, very smart. I'm gonna replace everybody - the joint chiefs - everybody with AI. Don't need them." Nobody says anything because they can't judge Trump's tone. And when the Great Man is talking - you better not laugh at the wrong thing or at the wrong time.
He seems serious (maybe?) when he says "The first thing I'm gonna do is—" But he interrupts himself. "Me-me-me-me-me-me-me. I'm on Fox. Fix it." He means that for his ginormous tv - he wants the audio unmuted, multiple channels to go away, and make it all Fox. Trump watches Trump. Trump is all smiles and starts to give his aides play-by-play as if he's watching a recording of himself as the quarterback who won the Super Bowl basically all by himself.
this made me miss the King Brandon the Feeble-minded series of posts by @SoyViking@hexbear.net
𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗡 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗟 𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 by SoyViking
I wonder if we will get an update for THE TROLL KING'S SECOND REIGN
Prince Hunter the Debauched
After the fall of the house of King Brandon the Feeble-minded - erenow where are the tales of the great prince?
Jim Cramer saying the war won't spiral means nukes dropping today, it was nice posting with y'all
"everything's fine" - guy who's always wrong
At this point I feel more confident putting my life savings on a single hand of three card monte
three card monte
Ah, the ol' physical media prediction market bet.
MAKE ANALOG GAMES AGAIN! America used to Tabletop and now they don't. Nintendo has done terrible things to you, outsourcing our gamers to the digital. SAD! That is why I am bringing back dice and cards by raising tariffs on all the digital. Great cards and dice, the BEST! A set for every American!
so whatever the opposite of this is
gonna take out big positions in rice and canned goods
Don't forget beans
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Why should I listen to the guy from Seinefeld ?
He was right about Kenny Roger's Roasters
2007: the market has signaled credit default swaps are cool and good, so let er rip
who's gonna reverse Cramer and become the world's first Hexbillionaire?
:( for you
GREENWICH, Conn., Jan. 25, 2024 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- via IBN -- The Board of Trustees of the Northern Lights Fund Trust IV (the “Board”) has authorized an orderly liquidation of the Inverse Cramer Tracker ETF (Ticker: SJIM) (the “Fund”). On [January 25], 2024, the Board determined that closing and liquidating the Fund was in the best interests of the Fund and its shareholders.
Wonder if they got threatened?
i've cut out the news, but they got into -15% territory and decided losing money for shitposting rights is not wise
Yeah...probably.
Somewhere in the world a Bogdanov clone just instructed his broker to "dump it."
Iran war is getting ready to pop the fuck off in other words.
Buy high, sell when rent is due (or reup)
it's ok the oracle at delphi said we have 5 more weeks of winter fucking babbling technopriest
Jim Cramer's Gollum alter ego is buying a shitton of oil futures right now.