Asklemmy

It really depends on your personal financial situation.

For me, I only need around 50k per year (before tax) to maintain my lifestyle and save a bit. That includes a pension (as if that will make a difference lol).

So going from 70k to 55k would be ... Uncomfortable (I get you with the stability anxiety), but rationally, if my mental and physical health were suffering. Those extra 20 % is really not worth being miserable.

You only have one life. Make sure to enjoy it.

Having said that, if it was going from 55k to 45k, I would have to have a close look at my finances and lifestyle to see what would be worth cutting. The end question is: are the things you need to cut to make do worth the extra suffering you are currently enduring?

Everything has a cost, whether that is paying with your time, your health, sanity, or choosing to spend time with one person instead of another. Only you can answer if it's worth it for you.

but those 20K per year… (102K vs 81K fwiw)

You can live quite comfortably on both, assuming USD. Go for the one that won't make half of your waking hours hell. If your background has meant a scarcity mindset, you might have a good start on savings anyway.

If it was minimum wage on the low end I'd give much more nuanced advice.

Not to be overly morbid, but what's the point in saving up for retirement if the job is killing you? Financial security is important, but so is your mental health. And based on your general field, I don't think I need to explain that stress has real, quantifiable consequences. I wouldn't be surprised if reducing your stress level actually raises your ability to do some stuff for yourself that you're currently finding pretty impossible. Less stress at work might give you more energy to exercise, cook healthy meals, better maintain your home, etc.

You might need to adjust some of your "extra" spending to make it work, but if that's the only real sacrifice in the switch, I'd say make the switch. You're obviously unhappy with what you've got or you wouldn't be looking at other options and asking the internet.

FWIW, I'm in my mid 30s and changed careers ten years ago. I was a chef and loved what I did, but I had a boss that completely killed my passion to grow or even sustain. I literally got a raise when I quit for a job scrubbing toilets. I found my footing in power plants and now I'm an operator in-house. It's never too late to make a change. You're never in too deep. And in many cases, it's gonna take a step down before you have a chance to rise up higher. Never stop learning and growing. Cheers and good luck :)

if it is the difference between heartburn everyday and not, then 100% worth it

I think it's worth a shot. If it doesn't work out, you can go back