I feel I've seen this exact joke in an SMBC or something several years ago
this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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The joke has been around a while, so they probably have made the same joke.
That joke's been around since 1750 BC
Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:
When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : "I will return when the time is right." Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: "Why, then, has Jesus not returned?"
What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?
You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?
Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er... this is a joke btw)
Top tier joke, mate.
Our world if Ea-nasir had sold good copper:
Jesus ain't coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.
Jesus is a vampire?
I think they mean because Jesus was supposedly murdered on a cross, and then his followers wear said cross as a symbol of their love for him or some shit - which is honestly kind of weird.
You think that's weird? They drink his blood and eat his flesh too.
I wouldn't come back either
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we enshrined his torture and put it literally everywhere. you think that might have anything to do with it?
Well people said if he comes back he's going to slaughter all of us, maybe making him afraid to come back is the point? Haha
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It's not like all humankind suffers and he is a relatable representation of our own suffering. Kind of like Iron Man or other heroes.
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TBF, his (hypothetical) dad planned the whole thing.
Yes, but only because he knew our nature, and still wanted to love and forgive us, despite being quite unforgivable.
Sure. That fucker wants to forgive us and he gets a pass. I want to love and forgive everyone and I wind up with a life sentence for murdering my son.
That's your mistake.
You set up a situation in which he will end up being murdered by others.
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Is god also jesus and the holy spirit all at once?
Ah, yes, the holy Trinity.
The only thing that made less sense than a virgin birth or resurrection.
It still doesn't make sense. Like from a narrative view either. It doesn't help the story, or the belief it's just a useless... Thing?
a virgin birth
parthenogenesis – Jesus is a clone of Mary – which also make him canonically a trans man
the perfect push over the edge for the doubting christian in your life: was Jesus trans or was Mary an adulterer?
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A press conference with aliens? I don't think so. They'll be killed and get a very detailed autopsy as soon as they put their feet on the ground
Then I hope they have no feet! 🤪
Unless we were threatened with overwhelming power.
There's a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you've all but proven that God exists.
You will prove that one god exists?
Or even less, you will prove that someone with god-like powers exists?
Or even less, you will prove tat we live in a simulation written by some christian sect.
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Will be reading this if you think it’s worth it.
I’m a huge fan of classic sci-fi (Asimov, Heinlein). How does it hold up?
And before someone eats me alive about Heinlein, I’ve heard it all. Been a fan since I was a kid and the ideological side of it doesn’t matter to me as much as the stories these days. I’m an atheist because of authors like him. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.
If you like old school scifi you'll probably like it. It's a grand opera. Prolog to the first book is online here:
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We killed God. And we'd do it again if given the chance.
Oh, I know a good chunk of this country seeing a brown skinned guy helping out the poor and being all woke and shit, would put him right back up on that cross.
God creates earth. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
Life, uh, finds a way.
It’s so interesting to see reactions of horror triggered by a mention of kindness suddenly putting one’s own actions into perspective.
More like "what didn't we do?"
Am I right?
Like 90% of what he told us to do, for starters.
That 10% is doing a lot of work here
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Explanation: humans suck
Because that's where I got it from, that's where I linked the source to
If y'all think Jesus is so good you should meet his hermanito lupe.
If Jesus were to show up on an alien planet would He be incarnate as an alien
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