Work on diagnosing and fixing the problem first, worry about appointing blame later (if at all).
There exists a problem. Problem requires a solution. Solution requires diagnosing problem and using reasoning to solve craft solution.
Assigning blame (root cause analysis) can wait. First, fix problem. Then analyze how/why problem happened and implement corrective and preventative actions.
A company I used to work for actually had a policy of never to assign root cause as “Human error”. Individuals actually never got blamed. Instead, it was perhaps that there wasn’t enough training, or certain procedures were lacking which could’ve prevented the problem, etc.
One time someone had accidentally broke an $8 million dollar piece of equipment. They were never fired, or reprimanded at all. Instead, the investigation assigned root cause to lack of adequate safety procedures, or something like that. Therefore actions are taken to help prevent recurrence instead of just saying “They did it! Fire them!!”
They were a great company to work for because of this.
Forgive yourself when you fuck up
Also, if you’re not fucking up occasionally, then you’re probably not pushing yourself hard enough
I have no more right to interfere in someone else's life than they have to interfere in mine.
Avoid people who don't share that view.
Stay curious. No one is over educated to the point that they can't learn.
The other side of this is that anyone, no matter their background, can teach you something.
“First is best”
To avoid overthinking decisions that don’t really matter, the first acceptable choice is the correct one.
Save your indecision for stuff that matters.
I'm sure your wife loves you....
"Babe, why do you only last 2 minutes when we make love?"
"I'm first to cum! I win at sex!"
Never admire an entire person, only the aspects of the person you find admirable.
Make it work, then make it work right.
And it’s companion for understanding how things came to be- every complex working system invariably developed from a simple working system
Have strong opinions that are weakly held.
Don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good”
Now that I think about it, my principles like my life may be all about engineering…
MVP is a good tool I was just mentioning. Picked it up unknowingly from coding, still working on generalizing it to my life but its working and rightly for me
Have strong opinions that are weakly held.
Ooh this is excellent phrasing of a good principle
Admit when I'm wrong.
Probably my favorite realization in life was that I might be wrong. Always, no matter how confident, we are all wrong sometimes. Even about the most basic facts, we could be wrong because brains are weird. So, I just try and minimize that while recognizing it.
And learn how to defend when you're not. Some assholes use it as an excuse to divert blame to the guy who tends to admit fault, even if it's not actually their fault.
Don't do anything you're going to have to lie about. If you do, don't lie about it. If you do, make it right as soon as possible.
This is something I learned from experience. I have plenty of problems in my life but a heavy conscience isn't one of them.
I printed this quote by Sister Chan Khong and carry it in my wallet:
If we just worry about the big picture, we are powerless. So my secret is to start right away doing whatever little work I can do. I try to give joy to one person in the morning, and remove the suffering of one person in the afternoon. If you and your friends do not despise the small work, a million people will remove a lot of suffering.
So I try to spread a little joy and remove a little sadness.
If you don't know what you want, make a choice instead of just waiting. If it's not the right one, change your mind. It's always ok to change your mind. Sitting in stasis means the ice cream shop closes before you ordered and now you don't get any.
Not taking risk is one of the main reasons most people never get to truly experience life before it's over. However, there are situations where taking risk can actually destroy your life, especially when it involves physical danger. Proceed with caution.
Perfect is the enemy of good enough
Don't have your mouth write checks your ass can't cover
Or
Under promise while over deliver
Aim to surprise, and you'll never not impress. Unless its a dark surprise.
I have two main moral guidelines by which I try to live:
A. Try to leave everything better than it was before, or at least avoid making it worse. It doesn't have to be by much, but if every person makes things just one tiny bit better, the culminating effect will be great. Do your part.
B. The difference between a moral person and an immoral one usually doesn't lie in the ability/inability to know right from wrong, rather in the ability to rationalize their immoral actions. Therefore:
- Doing bad things once in a while does not make you a bad person, it makes you human.
- Avoiding doing bad things 100% of the time will make you a bad person, as you'll inevitably fail and will be forced to rationalize your actions, making it easier to do more bad things.
- What makes you a good person is the ability to know when you're acting wrong.
From there, there are a few rules that help me along the way:
-
Everyone are wrong. Assume you're wrong about some important things/core beliefs, you've just yet to discover which ones. Don't hesitate to act according to what you think is right, but understand you're probably doing something wrong somewhere. Look for signs that show that's the case.
-
Making mistakes is fine and inevitable. Reflect on your mistakes and try not to make the same mistake twice.
-
Use everything as an opportunity to learn. The best way to learn is from other people's mistakes - it provides a visceral lesson without you having to pay the price.
-
People's opinions of you are their business, not yours. Though you should choose to use them to improve yourself when applicable.
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Admitting being wrong or admitting a mistake will not only improve things, but is a sign of strength. Not doing so is a sign of weakness. This is true both for yourself and for other people.
-
Give people the benefit of the doubt and don't be quick to judge them. Wait until you have enough data and then come to conclusions.
-
No rule is correct in all situations.
-
External rules (and laws) exist for a reason. If you're going to break one of them, first understand why it's there in the first place and why it should be ignored. Do not assume you know better than the people who came up with it.
-
Blanket statements can be correct or incorrect for the most part, but they can't be used to solely justify an action or an opinion.
I can't save the world, but I can make my corner a little nicer.
Decision results in bad outcome. Oh well, lesson learned.
Look after your tools, as the old saying goes.
As a counter to perfectionism:
If it's worth doing, then it's worth doing poorly. [source: a reddit user]
MVP (Minimum Viable Product) is a good tool of thumb also. What is the simplest end result you can work towards to establish a foundation/working model you can iterate over if necessary later to "perfect"
I always liked, "Perfect is the enemy of good," and a close second, "Make it work, then make it better."
Don't spend energy on things you can't change anyway. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good (enough).
Chill the fuck out
"Treat people the way you would like them to treat you."
"Judge every claim on the basis of the evidence presented for it."
If someone tells you something, that something does not get repeated without asking for permission first. People don't have to say "can I tell you this in confidence?" Absolutely everything is kept in confidence.
- Absolutely no littering ever.
- If I drive I don't drink. Not even one.
- No lying. Not even white lies.
- No smoking (tobacco)
- If everyone did what I do and the world would be a worse place for it, then don't do it.
- Good deeds done in secret are twice the karma.
That's stupid as fuck, number 3 specifically.
"Are you harboring Jews in your house?"
"I don't lie, so yes I am, they're in the attic."
Don't do good things to be good, do them because of how good they make you feel
Pay attention, it's the little things that make the whole picture when put together
If you're unsure about doing a certain activity do it anyways. It's better to err than to do nothing and forever wonder what it would had been like if you had
Most people aren't evil, they just have been formed differently by life itself. Try to understand them before you decide how you feel about them
The way that someone responds to you is a reflection of them, not of you. If someone in your life is wildly inconsistent, all you can do is make sure that you are maintaining consistency yourself.
I've worked with a number of people who acted like we were besties one day and then gave me the cold shoulder for weeks. I spent too many years wondering what was wrong with me before I finally figured out that their mood swings had nothing to do with me.
People either enhance or diminish your life. Very few are neutral.
Treat them accordingly.
What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?
Everyone deserves respect.
Respect is in fact, not earned.
One loses respect due to their behavior.
- Knowledge is meant to be shared, not hoarded.
- The act of kindness is free, but its impact is priceless.
- Discipline matters, but so does self-care.
Don't make excuses. If you fucked up admit it and make a plan to prevent it from happening in the future. Excuses themselves do nothing to help a situation.
/me grabs soapbox
I'll focus on people. I avoid people who consistent or egregiously:
- are assumptive, gullible, or fallacious.
- expect me to be assumptive, gullible, or fallacious.
- are eager to violate the others' autonomy; for example, the "I never take a «no» for an answer" ones.
- defend their actions based on intentions (instead of responsibility, outcome, or info at hand).
- expect me to apologise for things they know I have no blame for.
- claim that fighting back makes me as bad as my enemies, i.e. who expect me to become a punching bag.
Note: "consistent or egregiously" is key here. A brainfart or a derp is fine; but some things happen too often, or are too strong, to be considered simply brainfarts.
Stay completely off all social media, including Lemmy.
Be slightly more useful than I am annoying... I'm really fucking annoying
Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. When I call customer support, I don't get mad at the person because it's not their fault. If someone flubs up my order I don't say anything. I try to smile to everyone even though I don't want to. Even if I don't make their day better, I try to make it at least bearable.
Adapt or die.
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