this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
493 points (98.1% liked)

Greentext

7928 readers
1165 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 29 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 136 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I'm not sure what other outcome this woman could reasonably have expected.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

For real, especially if they were role playing up to that point. I know all the Wario stans would gladly take a hot glazing of Wum to the face but you gotta expect the waaaaaaaaaaah.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

She's probably as autistic as OP but she probably a cute girl so had load of normal guys smashing and didn't really have to think about much.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 79 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This sounds like one of those teen movies from the early 2000s.

This whole scenario could have been Stifler from American Pie. Dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago

I'd rent that at the BlockBuster for ¢99.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] Huschke@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But... but... he dared you... How dare you!

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Swords at midnight.

There can be only one.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

/slaps you with a steel gauntlet of enduring numbness +4

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 51 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Senseless@feddit.org 7 points 2 years ago

terminal cancer

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 49 points 2 years ago (1 children)

RP verisimilitude > enjoyable sex

I don't make the rules

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I had to look that word up

sex noun 1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. "they enjoyed talking about sex"

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Where did you find that definition? That wasn't the definition I remembered so I looked it up too and I found what I thought it was but not what you found. Was that on urban dictionary?

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He had to look up the word sex.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ahhh my bad, I'm dumb and read it wrong, ty

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

It wooshed me on the first read, I probably wouldn't have gotten the joke if your comment didn't make me do a double take 🙂

[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 38 points 2 years ago

imma Wario ima gonna cum!

This better not awaken anything in me.jpeg

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Just because of that? Was the rest of the sex also disappointing?

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

He wario'd to completion

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

fake && gay

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago

Was anon's spouse the Mario at the swinger party?

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Nobody would get horny at that party.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Nerds know how to get down, bro.

[–] bilb@lem.monster 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? I'm getting horny over here just masturbating about it.

[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You did not had to share this fact with us.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Yes he did. It's in his contact.