Yeah, I agree that Vulcans would probably be naturally accepting of varied gender identification and presentation, and of varied sexual orientations. Probably similar to how the majority of the neurodiverse (especially autistic) communities among humans are accepting of gender and sexuality variations.

It strikes me as highly illogical to insist that anyone else has a better sense of what a person's sexual orientation or gender identity is than the individual themselves. If they say "I identify with X pronouns" then obviously it is illogical to use Y pronouns when referring to that person. If they say, "I'm attracted to people like this" then it's illogical to insist that they should instead be attracted to a different subset of people. If they express a preference for Z gender presentation, it's illogical to insist they should prefer otherwise.

Gendered expectations are illogical relics of ancient human social structure anyway, so Vulcan society probably wouldn't have as many of those to begin with, if any at all. Even our emotionally encumbered human cultures in the 21st century are beginning to wonder at how pointlessly gendered things have been for us.

some may have views that it is illogical to have a romantic relationship without a child

I don't see why it would be logical to posit that the potential for creating offspring is a necessary component of relationships. There are all manner of motivations for intimate bonding that have nothing to do with whether biological reproduction occurs. Also, adoption exists.

Arguably, the very concept of romance being a core component of relationships would be viewed by Vulcans as an illogical and unnecessary condition. I imagine the vast majority of Vulcan society would be aromantic by default.

There's a gay Vulcan character in the New Frontier book series (U.S.S. Excalibur). From what I recall, there were no social issues but the guy's father disapproved due to "a waste of good genetic material" :-)

My opinion, since modern Vulcans suppress their emotions, the only logical reason to have a mate is procreation. So the vast majority of society is "straight" as a result of that logic.

At the same time, I would argue that it is an illogical activity to exclude someone of value to society based on who they have chosen to mate with. Logically, unless their choice of mate somehow affects their job/employment/task (whatever you want to call it), I don't see a logical reason why their choice in a mate would matter to anyone else.

The only logical argument I can find in all of this, is that choosing a mate based on feeling/preference, instead of logic, might demonstrate that an individual is more emotional and therefore less logical. And I think we all know how Vulcans feel about things that are not logical and/or things that act upon their feelings....

Personally, I don't see that having a preference in a mate, even one that steps outside the heteronormative, is a flaw in their logic. If you enjoy your time with your mate, and that makes you a better, more productive individual, then I fail to see a problem.

Another thing I didn’t initially think about is the Federation’s potentially great capability for transitioning people, considering how relatively simple it was for Bashir to transition Quark to being female then back to male.

~~Could they even biologically survive homosexual Pon Farr?~~ No wait, they could because they have shown them to satisfy themselves in a holodeck on Voyager. Under the circumstances, it should have been logical for Tuvok and Vorik to have made sweet, sweet love.

Why do they have hair on the top of their ear?

Ice cold logic.

Reproductive organs are for reproducing and reproducing only. If you have a penis you’re a male of the species, if you have a vagina you’re a female of the species. Anything else is a genetic abnormality that should be fixed.

There’s no room for emotion, no room to feel like you’re in the wrong body or to identify as something other than what you physically present. This social weight is compounded in the Kelvin timeline where there are so few Vulcans left they must mate full-time just to prevent extinction.

I think it would be an interesting story to have a half Vulcan, half Human struggle with dysphoric emotions boiling beneath their taught logical exterior, or a full Vulcan that doesn’t understand why they have no desire (or actual regret) to Pon Farr with their mate.

But don’t take existing characters and rough them up because you’re bored with them. Don’t take Spock and turn him into a depressed, bearded neurodivergent with 20 siblings. Make new characters that I can care just as much about. Even in the sterile Vulcan society there is opportunity to tell very human, very emotion-driven stories about one’s own identity.