So I founded a start up with my partner. It’s an online business that isn’t making a bunch of plastic products and is a service that will help players in our hobby. But honestly, the mental weight of fighting for capital and trying to get funding is.. I don’t know if I really play the entrepreneur game well enough for it. I am good at making connections and leading projects and managing people. But the constant need to sell what we’re doing to capitalists as not only “will make a successful business” but “will 100X your investment in 5 years” is just. Excruciating.

The reason I’m doing it though is that I just don’t see how in the current world I’m supposed to get to a stable and secure state without owning our own business. I used to be a lawyer and I was just protecting the interests of the oligarchy and it was unbearable. Being an employee for someone else is, to my kind, always a risk. We are privileged enough to get this chance to try to build something that lasts, and we are good at it.

Honestly I long for revolution and the collapse of Western imperialism. I’m bourgeois as fuck but I want to dedicate my life to a meaningful cause. In the meantime though I guess I’m trying to “win” at capitalism enough that I can just be independently wealthy and not rely on others. I don’t know. I hate it all