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submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by EndlessApollo@lemmy.world to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Edit I'm just gonna delete this soon. I posted it and made most of my comments while angry and looking for blood. yea a lot of cringe stuff got said on that post but I don't think my post is contributing anything to the sub other than anger, and possibly driving people away. Sorry to the people I snapped at, I hope yall have a good night🐕

The comments are full of people saying transphobic shit and op doubling down on his "making your trans partner feel dysphoric is fine" shit. He'll that pic was a re-upload from one of the mods here. What the fuck!!!! This is fucking 196 why are we out here defending blatant transphobia? People are in there calling trans people karens with a persecution complex, there's tons of defense of treating trans men like shit, "allies" telling trans people they're overreacting, all kinds of inexcusable shit. If this is how lemmy 196 is gonna be I hope this place crashes and burns

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[-] Nerorero@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 11 months ago

Could you at least give some context?

[-] Dee@lemmy.world 41 points 11 months ago

The person in the screenshot was being asked if they'd date a trans man, they gave that response. Which is to say yes, but that they have a sexual preference for femininity which would make it difficult as most trans men are dysphoric about their feminity especially pre-op. He said it in not the best word choice but the sentiment is not transphobic. Big "he a little confused but he got the spirit" energy.

OP is going to tell you a bunch of other shit. Looks like the post might've been removed but what they're saying was happening in those comments did not happen. They just seem to be a very, very angry person.

[-] EndlessApollo@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

Person who made the reported comment said that in response to being asked if he'd date a trans guy, in a thread asking what straight guys are attracted to. Could have just been badly worded, but considering op's reaction to being called out, the other transphobes in the thread, and op agreeing with them, I'm gonna say no

Here's a pic of one of the worse fuckers in those comments, I would've linked more in the post but idk how to link more than one. Op agreed with this take and said 6 out of 7 of his trans women friends were just unreasonably mad about their problems

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 22 points 11 months ago

Can you explain what you find offensive about the comment reported screenshot you linked above? How is someone supposed to express that they would not want to date a trans guy? Or are you saying that the fact that they wouldn't date a trans guy is the problem?

To be perfectly honest, you kind of seem to be exemplifying exactly what the person in the screenshot you linked here is saying - that you're attacking someone for expressing a personal preference, and that you're labeling this person for criticizing that behavior. I'm trying to understand your PoV.

[-] priapus@sh.itjust.works 22 points 11 months ago

I don't think the screenshot OP posted is transphobic, but this comment 100% is. Saying trans people are the "karens" of the lgbtq+ community is incredibly shitty.

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 17 points 11 months ago

It certainly wasn't a good way for them to say it, but I just found it ironic that OP seems to be doing exactly what that post is claiming (some) trans people do.

While I don't agree with the statement as a whole, I do understand the general sentiment that they were trying to get across - it does feel sometimes like discussing trans issues is like walking on eggshells, where anything you say that isn't directly in agreement with their point of view is taken as a personal attack. (This is what I meant that it feels like OP is doing here.)

[-] catreadingabook@kbin.social 7 points 11 months ago

Agreeing with priapus, no idea what OP is on about but the one here is in really poor taste. Saying generalized statements and trying to describe an entire community as if your experiences are universal, especially trying to paint the entire community in a negative light, is uneducated and weird.

It would be like saying, "I feel like men are dangerous and creepy. They seem to go out of their way to get offended when we tell them we don't want to talk to them. Like, I'm sorry some people in the country have made them feel like they need female attention, but they're hurting their own cause by insisting that they deserve sex all the time."

Maybe it's true about a subset of the group, and that's probably the subset you will see if you are exclusively browsing hateful content all the time. But a few real life conversations with real life people will show that those statements are barely accurate at all for the majority of them.

A more appropriate way to express themselves would have been centered on their own experiences - "I feel like I have to be careful expressing my views on trans people because I see people getting offended over innocuous questions," etc etc. Very very different tone.

[-] EndlessApollo@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

There's nothing wrong with just having those kinds of preferences, or with saying you have them in the right context, which this is. Op didn't do that though. He would totally date a trans guy, he just says he'd hate it and would try to make his bf feel dysphoric. Having a problem with that doesn't mean I'm a Karen or have a chip on my shoulder or any of that shit, I just like when people show basic fucking respect towards trans people and this "ally" doesn't seem to have any. He cares more about having trans friends and saying he's an ally than about listening to trans people and actually being one. He's prob a chaser tbh

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

That's not what they said, though...? They were asked if they would date a trans guy, and they answered the question presumably honestly (that they would if they were pre-op), but then went on to say that they don't like penises and do like breasts, and that that would likely make a trans guy uncomfortable.

[-] Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Thread was nuked, here's my response

The full comment, not just one cherry picked sentence

I hate to say it, but of the 7 trans women I've known, 6 have been like this. Everyone is the enemy, giant chip on the shoulder.

I mean, I get it. I grew up very poor, and for a long time any time I saw a rich person I wanted to deck them. Even if they did nothing wrong personally. Because my life was hell and they didn't have to go through it, and they're passively contributing to the system that made my life hell. So I hated them.

So yeah, I think trans people are just people, reacting to a hateful and cruel society in the way that any person would.

It is difficult to stay friends with someone like that. A lot of trauma. And collateral damage. I know, I lost friends over my issues.

Strangely enough of the 4 trans men I've known, none have been like this. Maybe they just internalized it.

this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2023
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