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Captain, remember your breathing exercises. They're not worth it.
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Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.
Same goes for doctors and such, seems a bit awkward for the enterprise crew to be friends with their doctor. Imagine having a drink with your gynecologist, or in case of riker, someone who most likely has treated him for at least one alien VD.
Or just the more general awkwardness of having your therapist and doctor around all the time, always aware of your lifestyle. Like, getting scolded by Beverly for your shitty eating habits during checkup and then she runs into you in 10 forward while you are trying to inhale a piece of cake.
Well, they're all basically locked in a submarine, but way worse. You're in a sealed box hurtling through space. You need a doctor on board, and you need a counselor on board. If you don't want both of them to go completely insane, both of them also need friends and social interaction.
While I agree that Starfleet levels of general fraternization are a lot looser than in modern military, I also think it's just kind of something you learn to live with when you serve on a ship.
I think we're, at least, led to believe that Starfleet officers are better adjusted than your average early 21st century human. For example, we don't see a lot of gossip behind Riker's back about how he gets around, but you very probably would today.
It may still not be ideal, but I think it would be less problematic than it would be for us.
Everyone is living authentically so there isn't the friction you imagine. Riker isn't shamed for liking sex. Troi isn't shamed for liking sweets. People are done shaming each other for being themselves. At least that was the idea.
It’s not about shame in my opinion, more like having your parents always nearby. Beverly is certainly too professional to ever reference something intimate or personal that she only knows through her function on the ship.
Also there is certainly still a degree of "shame" present, people still have privacy and an outward image. People still wear clothes.