I think you missed the point where I said "it's not about nuance."

I'm not claiming my examples don't have nuances, I'm claiming that many (most) people have things on which they won't compromise. Standards, if you will. Those standards may have nuance, but they remain uncompromising.

To use your examples, if "not trimming their toenails enough" is a deal breaker for someone, then the nuance of "but they shower ever day" doesn't matter.

Because it's not about nuance. It's about deal breakers.