The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment (theonion.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by silence7@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

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Actual policy: livestream firing squad executions

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[–] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Published: April 27, 2026

The onion is just a crystal ball at this point

[–] silence7@slrpnk.net 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Been that way since they did Bush's inauguration speech. He didn't accomplish everything the Onion mentioned, but he sure tried.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Damn, I didn't know that they've been around that long.

[–] manmachine@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Their “holy shit, man walks on fucking moon” is also a classic

[–] Nastybutler@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

My sweet summer child, I've been reading The Onion since I was in college in the mid 90s

[–] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com -1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I knew which article you linked before I even clicked it. Do you think that onion writers discovered the secrets to time travel, but are only able to reveal what they know through satire due to convoluted time travel rules? That's obviously the only rational explanation.

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago

it's not time travel. If you just listen to Republicans, they'll gleefully explain the nightmare world they want to create. All the Onion did was treat it as a threat rather than fantasy.