this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] ViatorOmnium@piefed.social 167 points 4 days ago (4 children)

This reads like some very iffy fan fiction.

[–] StabbingSky@lemmy.zip 93 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 54 points 4 days ago (2 children)

NO WEIRDOS, BEARDOES, OR WOMEN, ONLY STRONG, HOT, MUSCULAR, DTF MEN.

[–] Sanguine@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That always makes me laugh. Discreet? Oh you mean I can't publish your name in my weekly zine? Damn!

[–] Sanguine@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago

Discreet is basically always code for I'm cheating on my wife.

[–] meat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Right? Apparently hallucinating in a coma that Jesus's manly body is the only reality will get you on Fix News.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

only if it's the right jesus. my sil hallucinated a different jesus and never got a book written about her. was pissed off about it until the day she died. i kept telling her she needed to write it herself, but nope! too much work.

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Can we hear about this different Jesus? It sounds interesting. Don't meant to pry if it's a sensitive topic, though.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It was just mormon Jesus. Nothing special. No eye lasers.

[–] Seralth@piefed.seralth.com 2 points 3 days ago

Aww the eye lasers are the best part.

[–] Varesti@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago
[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

The edgy atheist in me wants to say "so add it to the Bible."