Fuck The USA

Yeah that is why God kicked Adam and Eve out of paradise, one day next to their Escalade a snake appeared offering a pleasant looking commuter bicycle and Eve, to Adam's abject horror, accepted the bicycle and rode straight out of Eden while God bellowed out "I banish you!" as fast as he could so it would technically be him that banished her not her that left his imprisonment behind.

Shamans say in Christian Cycle Mythology that this same toxic masculinity echoes still to this very day if you look for it carefully. There used to be a Tarot card with a Woman on a bicycle smiling and riding away from a Man red faced and angry cursing her from a lack of control, but it was purged during The Great Rechristification Of America of the 2020s that involved a rewriting of Christian origin myths as well as new societal norms to fit these new myths (the primary change being moving Jesus to Utah of course).