this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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hexbears living with partners, (how) do you share expenses? (hexbear.net)
submitted 4 days ago by GiorgioBoymoder@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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looking for some perspective. I've been sharing a home with a partner for a while and we split our shared expenses proportionally to our share of the household income, based on gross income (i.e. I make 60% and pay 60% (at least, often more) of what we've agreed are the shared expenses). we then do our best to evenly split household chores and tasks as we choose.

another option could be to structure contributions such that we have equal personal money after making our shared contributions.

I'd think it would be simple to determine what a "fair share is" but in practice it's not, plus I'm facing criticism for my focus on "fairness" itself in this sort of exchange.

how do you do things? is it working for you?

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[–] StalinsGiantSpoon@hexbear.net 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

my partner makes like twice as much as me(and i make decent money for where i live, not amazing but much better than many others probably).

We split all the bills like utility, water, mortgage, internet. But we don't keep strong track of everything else. She probably does pay for my groceries a decent amount but we kinda have separate diets(she doesnt really eat what i eat esp now having to be gluten free, ill eat pretty much anything she makes) so i still go to the store on my own for stuff but ill ask her if she needs anything and i just buy it.

She's better at and enjoys cooking so she does that more often, but i do alot of cleaning/tidying and taking care of 4 cats esp since I work from home 4-5 days a week(feeding them, cleaning after them, vet visits). I also do more with taking care of the house maintenance whether i do it myself or am dealing with repair guys while i work from home.

We don't have any shared bank accounts we just use venmo for the bills we split. So whatever is left is our play money. She definitely likes to buy her own treats and i have the ones i like. She has def paid more than 50% for some of our vacations too, but her end year bonus is like a quarter my salary sometimes so she recognizes that.

Anyways, i think if you make substantially more then one should pay more but if youre making enough money it's worth it to not nickel and dime everything. If i die pretty much everything I have(savings, retirement) is going to her and my sister 50/50.