this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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hexbears living with partners, (how) do you share expenses? (hexbear.net)
submitted 4 days ago by GiorgioBoymoder@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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looking for some perspective. I've been sharing a home with a partner for a while and we split our shared expenses proportionally to our share of the household income, based on gross income (i.e. I make 60% and pay 60% (at least, often more) of what we've agreed are the shared expenses). we then do our best to evenly split household chores and tasks as we choose.

another option could be to structure contributions such that we have equal personal money after making our shared contributions.

I'd think it would be simple to determine what a "fair share is" but in practice it's not, plus I'm facing criticism for my focus on "fairness" itself in this sort of exchange.

how do you do things? is it working for you?

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[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Married, our structure is that we have our own separate checking and savings accounts, but also a joint checking account that we both pay into at a relatively proportional amount. The joint account is used to pay most of the “common” costs, and anything we use out of our personal accounts is treated as a wash. That way the “family” expenses are roughly fair, but then spending on ourselves isn’t being done by committee.

The key there being “roughly,” you don’t want any party feeling overburdened but at the same time nitpicking every last cent isn’t healthy either.

[–] doubledealer@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This setup has been working for my household too. I do roughly cover more of the food and grocery expenses to account for my larger caloric intake.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Well your partner is reaping the benefits of that thicc-ass booty