this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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We're married so all our income is in single account which pays everything. We're both pretty low maintenance, so we don't usually do any big purchases. If we do, we always check with the other person and make sure its okay. Otherwise we just pay from main account without bothering to let other know.
Chores are mainly just whoever feels like it.
edit forgot to mention, i make 3x what my spouse does.
Yeah I'm honestly kinda baffled that people do it other ways, we are planning long term for shared goals as a team, why would we sequester money away from the family? To what end? I guess technically we have separate retirement funds but we talk about what's in them as an assessment of how we would pay for things collectively.
My partner has issues with money from growing up poor and eating bread for dinner too many times. Has an extreme dislike of spending money and will stress on stuff like grocery bills when we have years of rent in the bank. It took us being married for about 5 years before they become comfortable enough to merge bank accounts.
Before that, they would feel like they could never spend any money because they didn't make as much as I did. Essentially staying within their portion of the overall budget, which made them live a less lavish lifestyle but to their own detriment. I would 'treat' them by paying for stuff they wanted or needed but would not buy themselves.
After merging accounts, they still kind of feel that way because I still make more and they feel like they are spending 'my' money. We're working through it and it's probably a more unique scenario but throwing it out there.
I know other people keep them separate when they want to keep a sense of independence. As long as bills are paid, they can spend whatever they want without needing to consult the other person.
For sure, I don't mean to denigrate people who do it other ways, it's just really difficult to even imagine trying to plan for long term stuff with separate accounts. Or the idea that I wouldn't cover an expense that came up because I'd be using 'my' money for it. It's a completely different way of thinking about the financial resources we have.
yeah im a big believer in getting married and completely merging all assets and working together as a team.