this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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hexbears living with partners, (how) do you share expenses? (hexbear.net)
submitted 4 days ago by GiorgioBoymoder@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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looking for some perspective. I've been sharing a home with a partner for a while and we split our shared expenses proportionally to our share of the household income, based on gross income (i.e. I make 60% and pay 60% (at least, often more) of what we've agreed are the shared expenses). we then do our best to evenly split household chores and tasks as we choose.

another option could be to structure contributions such that we have equal personal money after making our shared contributions.

I'd think it would be simple to determine what a "fair share is" but in practice it's not, plus I'm facing criticism for my focus on "fairness" itself in this sort of exchange.

how do you do things? is it working for you?

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[–] StillNoLeftLeft@hexbear.net 15 points 4 days ago

We have never really thought about it and done well for over 20 years at this point. Been relatively poor most of the time and had kids. When my partner had work, he paid most things. Now that I do, I pay most things. It's our life and our expenses.

With chores pretty much same. Now that I work, he does most of them. When he worked, I took care of more. Our gender roles have always been a bit reversed and we are both neurospicy. I hate doing dishes so he always does them. He dislikes doing stuff like planning foods and stuff so I do that. And so on. It isn't really planned, it just is our life.