So I had an idea for a new method of security. A bulletproof alien costume pajama set. Here's how it works. You put on this full body pajama that's also bulletproof, and also made to look like an alien costume. And it pairs with an alien sleeping mask.
So now, when someone breaks into your house, the lights come on, they see this alien looking thing. It confuses them. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???"
Either they run in fear, or the confusion gives you the advantage for a second or too. Enough time to fire a gun, or swing a bat. The point is, he'll be confused as hell for a second or two, while you won't be. You'll just be starting your attack from the getgo.
And in the event that he reaches for a gun, the alien suit is bulletproof. Just don't get shot in the head. I can't picture a bulletproof sleeping mask.
bullet proof jacket with arms is about $600, pants about $500, helmet $700, face mask $300 (that's if you believe the claims that they work. If you need to actually take a bullet in these things I'd double the cost).
So about $3000-6000 to sleep every night in a back-breaking, neck-wrenching set of 300lb gear in the hope of playing a practical joke on a complete stranger that means you harm.
Perhaps practice by wearing motorcycle leathers and a helmet to bed first?
Then the statistics on home invasion - not only do you need to be one of the 0.2% of people whose home is broken into, but one of the 1/3 of home invasions that happen at night (most happen in the day), and one of the 1/10 that actually require a window or a door broken or forced (most happen because a door is left unlocked) and one of the 1/10 that last longer than a simple grab-the-things-left-exposed, and then one of the 40% where the intruder is armed and the 17% where the intruder is armed with a gun.
so you have a 0.0000519228% chance of this happening.
that's a pretty cuh-razy idea, huh Josh