Asklemmy

I think I can answer this one. I went from being a skinhead to a (what I think is) more well adjusted person.

I wish I could write you a neat list of things that happened in order for the shift to happen but it wasn't as clean as that.

I hit a rock bottom in my life and realized that I cannot go on any further like that. I had a sort of epiphany where I realized the floowing. "If everything I do will be criticized, then everything is permitted".

It somehow gave me the freedom to drop everything I ever was and change myself in a way that is more freeing to myself. (If that makes sense to you). I emigrated from my country so there was no peer pressure; I talk to my family extremely rarely (once every few months), I cut off all my old "friends". I changed the way I dress and how I carry myself through the world. I have also stopped being a believer that also altered my worldviews a lot.

I have started reading a lot more (but I have also changed my media diet), I have started learning how to draw (at 35) and generally being a sh*tty hobby artist and doing it for the joy of it. I deleted all my social media accounts, disabled history (suggestions) on youtube, unsubscribed all my streaming services and generally do as much as possible to avoid the algorythm.

I consistently go to art shows to enjoy looking at art, I go to cheap theatre shows, and dream of being able to buy tickets and see a world-class ballet show or a musical.

AAAND! I actually went out of my way to go look at the pride/CSD/gay Parade and cheered from the sidelines on.

Now don't get me wrong. Even though I like much more the new version of myself, it wasn't all roses. This change has immensely strained my relationship with my wife and children to the point where we were separated for over 2 years. It's still extremely difficult for her to accept "the new me" even though in my mind I just dropped the "facade".

I still struggle with finding new circle of friends. I do have a lot of people "in my circle" but those people come and go. I tried to make friendships with LGBT people, but after telling them that I used to be something else and that I'm changing myself, they tend to drop me like a hot potato. In general people are having much harder time making sense of the new me than before.