this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2026
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My car is constantly telling me to drive with both hands or yo get coffee when I am driving fine.
Many years ago I had a somewhat scary car accident and since I drive very cautiously and never speed. Yet this fucking thing is still yelling at me all the time.
If I could figure out how it decides to yell at me, I would unplug it.
Every new car has a million alerts and beeps and warnings and its sensory hell
No, that's not even close to how bad it is now. Hell, I bought a car that's a decade old and the fucker yells at me for being to close to the lines, yells if I'm approaching a stopped car "too fast" (which means it freaks out even when I'm slowing past 25 with 4-5 SUV lengths ahead of me), when I back up and there's anything remotely close off to the side (remotely close is the 2.5 ft on either side of me as I back out my driveway), and it gives me an extra special freak out if there's any possible cross traffic to 4 houses on either side of me. That last one is a nice warning the few times I've needed it, but more often than not, it's spazzing out over the neighbors taking their dog out on the other side of the street.
!!!! WARNING !!!! DRINK COFFEE !!!! BLADDER DANGEROUSLY EMPTY !!!!
I have a 2023 and while it does those things by default every single one of them can be turned off.
The front collision and the movement behind were left on because they occasionally help. Lane assist and the proximity got turned off immediately because of so many false alarms.
I've had my gfs accord emergency brake on me twice. One was coming to a hairpin turn on a mountain and an rv had pulled off onto a turn out for us to pass. And another was several car lengths away from a car making a turn into a drive way. Neither of which were even remotely close to an accident. It just freaked out.
And I've had tons of beeps for side streets with cars park along a gentle curve which the car doesn't understand the fucking road turns. I HATE all the tech.
Ford Fusion
I suspected as much. The only car I've ever seen with a coffee symbol. That alert can be disabled in the settings. At least, it's easy in the turbo gen 2 fusions (2013-2020) with the single dial gauge and dual screens in the dash. Not sure if the 2.5l gen 2 (or any gen 1) has that alert in the more basic single screen dash.
Gen 2 is a great car otherwise because it's a rebadged EU Mondeo.
Bless you. I’ll dig around in the menus and find it.
One of the greatest things. When someone gives you something that helps to stop something that was annoying you regularly. A good day!
It's the lane assist I believe. If it detected you using the land assist too much, it will send you those alerts. Essentially, you either drive too close to the lines, weave in and out of them too much, your sensors are bad, or your city has bad lines lol. You can turn off lane assist in every Ford I know of. Usually a button on the turn indicator stick. Check your manual though.
It does have lane assist but I only turn that on when I’m doing highway driving.
Many cars that can tell that, senses wether or not you give any resistance whenever it corrects the lane position. If it doesn't feel any resistance, it'll assume you're not actually holding the steering wheel. Try keeping a firmer grip of the wheel.
I have to admit to developing the habit of wiggling the steering wheel regularly. Unfortunately that doesn’t help for camera based systems
Instructions unclear, steering wheel now layered in zip ties