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this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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I feel like it's just something that takes a long time, the disparity between women to men automatically puts guys at a disadvantage. Plus there's tons of people who are on these sites, but not actually looking for a relationship.. they just want to flirt a bit and never actually meet. It can absolutely crush your soul, so being content with the rest of your life is important. It's really easy to believe there's something wrong with you, even though there really isn't.
I've had a similar experience with online dating - chatting with people, then went on multiple dates where it became obvious they didn't actually want a relationship (although I was quite open about the fact that I did) or they were just not a good match for me. I agree with a comment higher as well about the 'spark' thing as I was realising I just wasn't feeling that with any of them. I've had people say before that they were just on them for validation rather than having any intent on dating.
That said, I actually deleted Hinge about a month ago as I was just kinda sick of it and one of the people I'd been on a date with prior (who I actually did have a spark for but the date was just a bit odd as we hadn't quite 'clicked' with our interaction styles yet and I suck at actually flirting) wanted to catch up again. We've been dating exclusively for over a month now.
I'll agree with your comment about the disparity as we joked about our online dating experiences - she'd been on some 20-30 dates and in even more conversations with guys after being on it for 4 weeks. I had been on 5 dates and 12-odd chats in 6 months and a lot of those chats just ended up going nowhere when you ask engaging questions and get either absolutely nothing or single word replies.
Glad to hear it worked out for you, that's awesome!