chapotraphouse

It is usually a sort of last in line treatment with ketamine therapy being a level below and even in ECT/ shock treatment there are two kinds with the more severe kind refered to as double sided ones as the people usually called it (I don't know the terminology) which is the last option among this last resort. Last time I had it was maybe 4 years back not completely sure. I have severe amnesia of everything around that time and all over the place from getting it but that is common and they told me I will get my memories but that was a lie. My cognitive abilities did too probably but I have a bad experience arguing about it. They do the whole thing under Anasthesia. I just have faint memories about getting anasthesia and being tied to a bed that they moved, a lot of machines to the left and being surrounded by a lot of doctors and they always had this loud music playing and they put an oxygen mask on you while the rest start the process and one of them starts reading numbers on the machine or something and within like 10-15 seconds you pass out but it feels kind of good and then I wake up with severe disorientation and everything is confusing and I can't talk or walk properly so I am on a wheelchair that they put on an electric car that drives me back to my ward and it takes maybe another 5 hours before anything makes sense and I am not sure but 2 days I think later its the same again. 3 times a week and its this over and over again for months and when people talk about memories from some period in the past and I don't have faintest memory especially if it is a few years ahead or around the period I got it and I have only changed for the worse.

I don't want to get court ordered ever again