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One of the most infuriating things
(lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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The way I use those words:
A reason is a cause for an event or a thought process that caused a decision.
An excuse is one of:
If I said, “don’t give me any of your excuses” to somebody, I would be meaning all of:
This is a bunch of very negative stuff to be meaning. It could be whoever said that is an asshole, blind, or unfair. If they treat everybody with negative shit like this that’s likely and there’s just no winning with such a person.
I actually have said stuff like “don’t give me excuses” to my kids. I think I’m not an asshole. When I said it, I thought my kid was flailing about doing dumb shit without thinking. What I meant for my kid was, “I want for you to start thinking about how a chain of events fits together, and I want you to accept you have the ability and the responsibility to see a bad outcome forming, and to take actions to make a better outcome instead.”
Have you considered just telling them that? You're possibly obfuscating an important lesson for them by using a cultural phrase, and it's not uncommon for kids to learn the wrong lesson out of it.
That’s probably good advice but it’s about 15 years too late for me to use it :)