CoupleMemes

I'm 40, I couldn't fathom the effort required to date anyone under the age of 25

Considering the kinds of men who tend to seek out much younger women, it's less "funny" and more "very concerning".

asked my wife about this, she told me to fuck off and that it she still can't talk to her mother about that.

Which is weird because I was the person she dated when she was 19

I dated my wife when she was 19 and so was I. As I was a dick then, this all tracks.

(I'm also a dick now, but I was a dick then too #mitchHedberg)

Can confirm, I was awkward and embarrassing as a 19-yr old. I'm sorry to all my ex-girlfriends back then.

Granted, most of them dated me because I had a "bad boy" look and they were disappointed when they found out I was actually a quiet, introverted nerd. I was almost always the dumpee in my relationships.

My advice to a friend was “If he’s so mature, why aren’t all the mature women lining up to date him?”

At 19, I don’t think the advice stuck

I'm embarrassed about who my wife dated when she was 19. She tells these stories and all I can think is why didn't you dump me?

Now I feel better about the guy she left me for just as she was turning 19.

As a woman person I can confirm my worst choices were when I was still young and developing. I wasn’t 19, but 20.

My choices didn't get much better, but thats why I eventually stopped dating entirely. I’m a shit judge of mates, and choose the worst for me (yay trauma!!) so I just don't anymore, it’s so much easier. I’m tired of trying to grow and being brought back down by shitty men. Much rather bring myself down.

However of all the bad, that age brought me the worst. He turned out to be a convicted felon rapist (not of me. happened after he stalked me for 2 years which was itself after he moved 1300 miles to be close to me when I left him and moved home), which I discovered through court access years later. I dodged that bullet, for sure. I mean it grazed me, but didn’t hit. Sorry to the lady behind me. :(

Dated a 34 year old dude when I was 19 because I was rebounding hard and he could buy me booze. He was about as mature as I was at the time.

Yup, shortly before I hit 20 I got into a spectacularly bad idea of a relationship with a 37 year old woman.

It was her biggest mistake not mine!

/j

I feel attacked, the mother of my children was 19 when we met.

When I was 18 and 19 I only dated middle aged women.

I can see why it's creepy the other way around.

Depending on where you're at this can be more or less common - college being a key exception. My wife and I met first day of college, started dating at 18. Neither of us expected the relationship to last particularly long but we fell in love and it stayed that way for the duration of school. Neither of us wanted to end a relationship that clearly worked well despite having never experienced any other relationship before. The interesting part to me is that there were several other couples on the same floor of our dorm with the exact same situation, and more than a decade on they like us are still together.

naa. mine was at 32. my wife of 7 years, she was 41, had just died. i was alone in a house. came into money. paid off house. heard father in law tell me dont be a hermit, we love you. so i dated later that year. it was a mistake. obviously. but i wasnt alone. problem was when i “woke” i realized this person was truly using me and my vulnerability. moved on from that asap of course!

I think for most men it is also the lowest of our dating standards. Everyone was just so dumb.

Obviously, the people who dated someone at 19 who they subsequently broke up with is more likely to regret that date. And then there are the people who are still with the person they dated at 19.

Although I guess it is true for me that my worst dating decision was somewhere around 19: I didn't make any effort to date anybody, and now that I have no dating experience at age 33, that ship has now sailed without me.

I wasn't really dating much in my late teens and early 20s but I can say for sure that the girls/women I liked around those times were absolutely awesome. They turned out great. I turned out... not so great. So... good for them.

That's basically the point.

The men are saying "She's out of my league".

The women, 10+ years later, realize that they could have done a lot better -- she was out of his league.

I can't say I hear from many such men. If any.

Hey thanks for making me feel even worse about getting cheated on and dumped by my ex when we were 19

Mine was late 20's with folks +/-2 years; I got a lot of folks wanting a father figure, or wanting a provider. The level of possessive crazy was also just off the chart.

Different strokes for different folks.

As someone who teaches 18/19 year olds (and overhears snatches of their lives), trust me, they're dumber than you remember being. It's not worth it; their priorities and yours DO NOT align.