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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Yes, people can sometimes tell how you are feeling by observing you. I get that it's an uncomfortable idea, but it isn't always just "a guess that makes them feel good". It is possible to have an actual skill or talent for reading other people's current mental state or emotions, just not if you're a Lemmy user.
There's reading emotions and then there's claiming you entirely feel other people's emotions and are so confident in it that you insist the other person is lying about their feelings.
I'm going to preface this by saying that I don't challenge people on their feelings, I just observe closely.
The line is kinda blurred since a ton of people are lying to themselves about their feelings, something I'm not immune from either. Anger is a common one that's quite often a mask for fear or anxiety.
That's fair, but I think it's vital to frame it internally as you suspecting that there are deeper emotions at play here. At the end of the day the person in question is the ultimate authority on their emotions. A lot of so called empaths see all the deeper emotions that they want to see and more or less ignore what they don't want or expect to see. Furthermore you're likely rife with false positives.
Like I'm not discounting that people can observe deeper emotions, a good therapist is able to notice them and lead you to them. But people with hypervigilance often are the ones claiming that they're "empaths" (ie see and instinctively feel other people's emotions) and these traits can correlate with the behavior described above.
People that are good at reading emotions are wrong about the reason/cause a significant portion of the time. Like noticing someone is uncomfortable doesn't make the reason for being uncomfortable obvious.
People misread social cues, emotional states, intent, incorrectly ascribe causality of these things, etc., all the time, every single day, constantly, for a wide array of reasons.
https://mindorigins.com/mind-reading-or-mammalian-instinct-why-we-misinterpret-social-cues/
People with low self awareness or high overconfidence just don't realize that they are.
You actually have to have a significant amount of humility in order to have "high eq".
People who make an entire personality or significant personality trait out of their infallible ability to read people?
Who will outright tell people: "I know you better than you know you"?
Vast majority of the time, in the vast majority of contexts, such a person is a delusional manipulative narcissist, a cult leader / grifter scam artist type personality.
I definitively can back that up from personal experience. I tend to be quite good at detecting what emotional state people are in, but not why
Due to certain mental faults I tend to assume or believe that ita because of some error on my part, but that's often not the case, and I've been wrong about it many many times. Assuming I did something wrong when in reality it was something else
Excuse me but I am perfectly capable of telling when I'm being thrown out of a restaurant or orgy.
well the buffet at the orgy is always on point so just skip the restaurant next time is my advice.
Reading emotional cues is a basic human sense. Otherwise we would not be naturally tribal. If you discovered you could read emotions past the age of 5, there is likely something atypical about you neurologically.
Those that lack empathy hate that people are right about their hidden feelings. The reason for that is empathy is real and no amount of shade thrown on it negates that.
It's always been my understanding that the term empath implies some sort of higher sense that not everyone is capable of. Similar to some extra sensory ability. Though I may be incorrect. I've never read anything jabbing at "empaths" as jabs at empathy as a concept.
Edit: Phone autocorrected "empaths" to "empathy", oops.
I don't immediately know another persons mood and temperament. I can however get a good read on it in a matter of minutes. If I'm around someone regularly I invariably identity if they lack of empathy by how cruel they react to anthers misfortune. Nothing extra sensory about it. Its just empathy.
I don't think OP was making fun of that normal stuff
I'm pretty sure OP lacks any empathy at all. Its all magic to them.
I think they directed it at people who think they inow how you feel and insist their interpretation is correct even when told it isn't. I've met some people like that.
As an example, people who claim you must be upset about something and telling you how your body language clearly says so even when you aren't really upset etc. But that's a sort of self-fulfilling prophesy because people do get upset that hah
A narcissist will insist that you are wrong about everything about them. No matter what you say they will always say you are wrong and its some other way. That is how I see this post. Some narcissist asshole playing some lame magic empathy ploy because they don't believe in it in any way. I've had it used on me. I've learned to recognize it. I will never see things their way. They are always the victim. They never do any wrong because the feel they are right no matter what.
I feel like I'm completely detached from this social relation. I find self proclaimed "empaths" mostly just annoying or unconvincing. I don't really have any hatred for them.
People misread my feelings all the time. Then again I'm autistic and default to a poker face like 90% of the time unless I exert effort to emote.
I find people who deny its existence to be people that don't believe empathy is real due to their total lack of it.
You sounds like a conservative. "I don't understand how someone doesn't believe what I believe so they must be somehow intrinsically evil."
EDIT: Also I don't think anyone was saying they don't believe empathy is real, but that self proclaimed "empaths" are usually full of shit.
Congrats you are the person in the meme.
No I'm not. The meme is a attack on the very concept of empaty for those wretched disabled souls who lack it. The lack of it is at the heart of every wrong commited in todays world. If we could identify these people and teach the foolish to ignore them we wouldn't have the horror in china, Palistine and the US. Using the US miltary reporting on mental health diagnoses we know that twenty percent of the population lacks empathy and that twenty percnet, that minority is keeping the normal population from acheiveing wonders.
No its not an attack on empathy. Empathy isnt projecting your own thoughts onto people and believing wholeheartedly that you are correct. Its trying to put yourself in their shoes and understand how they are feeling. "Trying to understand" being the difference here. .
It’s sad how terms get co-opted. I get it’s part of the progression of language, but it still sucks.
I soak up the feelings of those around me, but it’s not some hippie woo-woo thing. I don’t think it’s “special,” just uncontrollable empathy. I love watching game shows because I take in the excitement and happiness of the crowd/players. On the flip side, if I see someone crying, it’s hard to stay neutral, because I feel their pain without trying to.
Is it a normal human reaction? Absolutely. Do most people experience it as strongly as I do? I have no evidence either way. It could be more extreme for me, but it could also be normal - just boiling down to differences in emotional regulation.
Either way, I guess I’ll be using the old, unambiguous term “empathic.” It still works, after all, and doesn’t carry the baggage of the newer term.
I can't watch awkward-situation comedy because of this. There are a lot of movies I've had to just either skip scenes or not watch entirely. Second hand embarrassment goes brrr
Thst sounds pretty normal
Ah yes, reminded me of an ex. Also had severe anxiety. Which was why he broke it off. Also wanted to get back together to see if ‘he made the right choice’ because apparently I don’t count in any of the decisions he makes for me.
My answer was nope!
Mood I'm recently divorced from my husband because all he cared abt was himself
Is empath some sort of dogwhistle? The only time I've seen the phrase "I'm an empath" was in between conservative misinformation on Facebook.
I've seen it with some crystal-healers and alt woo woo types.
I think they mean well... shrug
they seem much much less judgemental and hung up on dogma than the "bless your heart" and "I'll pray for you" types.
YMMV
I think people on the spectrum when they finally understand their fellow human beings for even a moment just shock themselves and that's how the term came about, lol.
"Empath" is a colloquial rather than clinical term, but it is useful. For people who grew up in an abusive household with unsafe parents, being hyper-attuned to their parent's emotions was an important survival skill, as being able to make yourself scarce at appropriate times can save you a beating. People give off all sorts of cues to their emotional state, including facial microexpressions, vocal tonality, body language, etc., and children raised in these environments have honed their ability to inutit emotional states from scant external cues, usually without realizing that they're even doing it. Unfortunately, most tend to disregard the "gut" feeling they get when doing it, because their abuse profile also typically includes emotional invalidation, which has taught them that their emotions are "wrong". So the cruel irony is that most "Empaths" don't trust their intuition, and tend to associate with abusive people like their parents, which feels comfortably like "home".
I grew up in an environment like this and developed these skills. I certainly don't consider myself an "empath," but didn't even realize I had these traits until I met my wife who was working on her Masters in clinical counseling.
Joke's on you! I'm a Betazoid. Captain, I feel... Intense... Scrolling.
Im a psychic and empath. Or psychipath
There has to be a better name for that.
Modern spirituality, brought to you by influencers.
It's like I have ESPN or something. My boobs can always tell when it's going to rain.
Great, now I want to replay Disco Elysium
Does understanding basic emotions make you an empath
It seems like some people in the comments think so. Like they have a super ability to sense when someone is angry but looking very angry lol