No holidays
High chance of scurvy
Possibility of ghost/leviathan attack
this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2025
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Former employee here.
God damn them all, I was told we'd sail the seas for American gold, we'd fire no guns, shed no tears.
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier. Also, management will call you to work unpaid overtime. Stay away from this place!
This guy's just trying to hide the treasure from the rest of us.
No, seriously.
I did a tour on that sickening sight of a sloop.
Once we sighted a Yankee lay low down with gold. She was broad and fat and loose in the stays, but to catch her took the Antelope two whole days. Then two cables away we shot our 4 pounders which did f all except make an awful din. The Yankee returned with one fat ball and stove us in!
Wish I'd stayed in Sherbrooke.
How I wish I was in Sherbrooke now...
We should legalize period-accurate piracy on the high seas. You can legally loot and pillage your way across the ocean...as long as you're willing to do so using entirely 18th century tools and equipment. I just want to see a bunch of maniacs in a tiny wooden sail boat try and capture a giant modern cargo container ship.
I see no problem with robbing super yatchs . Tie bezos down while I throw his crew overboard and pillage his watch collection
In this economy?!
My raft is gonna be contemporary, only using Styrofoam, even the rum is Styrofoam because thats all I can afford.
Sounds cool but pirates often pillaged and raided small, easy to target coastal villages, killing and graping. They were huge dicks and deserve to be eradicated.
*raping
I admire your spirit, but that's gonna be a big no from me, dawg.
- Sing sea shanties*
^* Any attempt to sing Wellerman will result in keelhauling and any compatible humiliating acts of torturous execution^
I'll keelhaul you for stopping me.
After 45 minutes out of port we're gonna be out of anything else to sing
Yeah but two weeks from shore and it'll feel like the most appropriate song.
Weyhey and up she rises!
Turns out the real treasure is the friendship all along. Anywho, about the salary…
Salaa ry? what's that matey.
This would be great! I keep trying to get this song going at bars, but just get awkward looks.
What shall we do with a drunken sailor
Early in the morning?
(Chorus)
Way hay, and up she rises
Early in the morning!
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
(Chorus)
Put him in a longboat till he’s sober
(Chorus)
Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him
(Chorus)
Put him in the bed with the captain’s daughter
(Chorus)
That’s what we do with a drunken sailor
(Chorus)
My, uh, riff attempts for this song get really, really dark.
Tie him to a rock and throw him over
Throw him in a tub full o' boiling water
Shad up!....
Actual sailing skills not required
Heck, I would even consider an unpaid internship!
50% chance of survival. On average.
Also the gig will last ~6 months if you’re lucky
Sweet, early retirement!
I like those odds!
I know three full cassette tapes worth of sea chanties. I claim the crow's nest! I just need an umbrella.
I take the port narrow rum... And I drink it.
I'll take the helm or be navigator.
I'm a bilge rat ladies, I'm a serious sailor.
I don't need two hands just to steal from my neighbor
_
Long John Silver, is it you?