this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2025
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all 22 comments
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[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 105 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Some of those who work delis

Are the same that throw smellies

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 8 points 3 days ago

To the tune of "fuck you, I won't do what you tell me"

Footlongs, aren't only five dollars

Footlongs, aren't only five dollars

Spicey Italiiiaaaaannnnnnm

[–] shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works 63 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] West_of_West@piefed.social 20 points 3 days ago

Never again

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The real tragedy is how stale that bread is; Subway^(tm)^ crust isn't supposed to do that. Is it too late to rescue the lunchmeat and start over?

[–] nukeforyou@lemmy.zip 45 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Also,, the sandwitch was wrapped up. So theres no mustard or onion

[–] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 46 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's what gets me about all of this. Not only was crying about onions and mustard the weakest most pathetic shit ever, even that was grossly exaggerated. These ICE losers are the most pathetic people alive.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

AND he was wearing body armor.

[–] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 1 points 2 days ago

Clearly, they should be wearing bulletproof and sandwichproof armor.

[–] CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one 34 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I can't believe I need to ask this, but... is that an actual quote?

[–] AmbitiousProcess@piefed.social 34 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don't think so, but he did say while testifying: “He did it. He threw the sandwich,” that the sandwich "exploded all over" his chest and he felt it through his ballistic vest, and that "You could smell the onions and the mustard".

The sandwich never left its wrapper.

The defense attorney finished closing arguments with “This case, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is about a sandwich”

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 6 points 3 days ago

They don't know, you don't think so. I think... This exemplifies how absurd this ~~shit~~ sandwich show is.

[–] Billy_fuccboi@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

I think he's throwing shade, but you can never be sure

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

I don't think so, but it is close to what he was trying to claim when he testified.

In a Sandwich vs. "Ballistic Vest" fight, the Vest will win every time. He might not even feel it. So he can't claim any physical damages. That means he had to make some sort of claim of mental trauma, which was supposed to be, what? Some sort of PTSD following the horror of the attack, due to the aroma of mustard and onions?

Then there was video evidence of the sandwich in the street, AFTER the attack, and it was still fully wrapped (Give that Subway employee a raise for having a tight hand). He couldn't have smelled that mustard and onions, because they were never exposed. That means the ICE agent committed perjury on the stand, under oath.

Lock. Him. Up.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago

Assault with a deli weapon

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 days ago

At least a fair few of us learned a new word today

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I'm buying a sub sandwich tomorrow to scare an ICE agent (disclaimer: I'm in Canada and will not actually come into contact with an ICE agent)

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago