236
spits out coffee
wwwhhhhhhaaaaattt?
Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard's kid after the DNA test is done?
They are accused murderers. Meaning they won't likely getting out till old AF and never going to be able to have kids.
There is very good chance they did this for that reason.
This reminded me of a story in "Archipelago Gulag." Bear in mind, some gulags were absolutely vast.
So at least in this particular gulag, women and men had separate dormitories, but men often visited the ladies' huts and openly got it on, resulting in a lot of pregnancies. Pregnant women didn't need to work and after their 2nd (3rd?) child, they were discharged and could go home.
The guards finally managed to keep the intruders out, but now, men and women just met after work, out in the open. Guards put up barbed wire to gender-separate the areas. Pregnancies surged even harder. How so? You see, the wire did not touch the ground in all places. So the men got down under the wire, on their backs. The women squatted down, and...
The guards then put up a solid fence, but good jumpers/ climbers could get over it, so... pregnancies, still. Finally, they made the fence so tall that the baby-making stopped... almost entirely.
And they say romance is dead
They might be in there for a long time, no conjugal allowed. It's possible when they get out - they won't be able to have kids, so they did this.
Us prison system is a brutal dehumanizing place
So FUCKING WHAT. Having the biological ability to create progeny does not mean everyone is entitled to be a parent. Because most people are not good parents. Most just perpetuate whatever shitty abuse they suffered and the cycle continues.
It's not the child's fault, but the child will now be tossed into a world where they are incredibly more statistically likely to be abused, to grow up without financial and emotional support, to be in foster care, and ultimately to be an adult with a dramatically lower potential for a happy and thriving life.
They should charge these two idiots with reckless child endangerment. And charge the warden and guards with whatever will stick; obviously they failed in their duty as well.
Prison should be for rehabilitation, but that's obviously never been the system we have in America. The 13th Amendment should be abolished. That doesn't mean we should be condoning and abetting the procurement of additional downtrodden. This poor kid never had a chance.
Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭
Not like this.
Who says romance is dead?
Those two cookies are in for murder 1 and murder 2 plus other violent offenses. Just in case other people were wondering why they said they wouldn't get a chance to be a parent for a very long time.
The proud father:
And the happy mother:
Mommy, where do babies come from? The Stork, love, you, the pipes.
Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.
Still a better love story than Twilight?
Absolutely. If nothing else, I'm not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight
5 times a day for a month!?
Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?
I got the sense that he was stockpiling his…product, and then shipping it over the border once he had accumulated enough for a proper insemination attempt. I hate everything about what I just typed.
Considering that sperm die pretty fast outside the body it's more likely it was "fresh".
I hate everything that I have read
load more comments
(1 replies)
So that's how God did it, huh?
The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.
It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.
load more comments
(5 replies)
That headline just got wilder with every word
Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.
To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".
And for the Germans: Frischhaltefolie
load more comments
(6 replies)
"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."
I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.
Or a guard trying to hide it like some people said on other comments.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
236 points (97.6% liked)
And Finally...
1109 readers
69 users here now
A place for odd or quirky world news stories.
Elsewhere in the Fediverse:
- !weirdnews@real.lemmy.fan
- !offbeat@lemmy.ca
- !nottheonion@lemmy.world
- !nottheonion@lemmy.ml
- !nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
- !aiop@lemmy.world
- !jingszo@lemmy.world
- !forteana@feddit.uk
- !strangetimes@lemmy.world
- !goodnews@feddit.uk
- !upliftingnews@lemmy.world
Rules:
- Be excellent to each other
- The Internet will resurface old "And finally..." material. Just mark it [VINTAGE]
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS