this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2025
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For turkey: throw it away and make something good. Prime rib usually converts the olds once they can smell it.
If grandma insists on a goddamn classic turkey, tell her that this is her version of her mother-in-law's fucking microwaved lutefisk and spatchcock or break down the bird. Make your stuffing in a separate pan, there's no reason to even chance salmonella on your bread.
To OP, agreed, canned french cut green beans, but fuck Campbell's and their shitty cream soups. Make your own cream sauce. Maybe try something coconut cream-based and lean into some light curry flavors (ignore Grandpa's protestations about it being different and weird). We get enough food monoculture with this stupid meal.
And if you're making sweet potatoes, for the sake of anything sacred, don't make that candy-sweet marshmallow and brown sugar abomination. Chop and roast them on a pan with oil adding only savory spices. The sweet potato is already sweet (hint: it's in the name).
I sense your anger, Gordon Ramsay. Let the hate flow through your gravy. I'm a purist with poultry on Thanksgiving though.
Haha, I'm no Gordon Ramsay. I just grew up in upper Midwest USA turkey country where black pepper was spicy, Italian seasoning was exotic, and ketchup went with everything (thanks to the ketchup advisory board, of course). I had way, way too many awful dry, bland thanksgiving meals.
I still have yet to have some turkey that really changes my mind about it. The closest I've come is a heritage turkey we paid something like $14/lb for 10 years ago. It was ultimately pretty tasty, but definitely not worth the hassle of procurement, cost, and obviously doesn't scale (I think it was a 9lb bird).
I knew when you mentioned lutefisk you were upper Midwest. Minnesota is awesome but the weird fish thing is weird.