this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2025
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It’s disturbing how many single women put on their dating profiles how much they hate small talk. Like, how else do you get to know somebody?
The complaint is about guys who want to text forever and not move forward. Heard that a lot when I was dating hot and heavy. Seems lots of guys are either just lonely and wanting to talk on dating apps or who aren't bold enough to ask for the date in a timely manner.
You have to establish, quickly, that there aren't any screaming red flags, then ask for the first date. If dating isn't what you're there for, go find something else to do.
It's also a filter for wishy-washy men. Sorry guys, women like men who are decisive. Which a lot of men take to mean "be a controlling jerk". Not the same, not even close.
So I'm old and greying now (in my late 30s), have no major stake in this but I'd like to reframe something you've said from a different perspective based on life experience.
I disagree that women like men who are decisive. It's going to sound like pedantry but I think that's too broad. That's not a message that helps young men find a good way.
In my experience, women like it when men are thoughtfully and respectfully decisive. Men are complex, sophisticated, have good days, bad days, strong days, days when they feel weak. Days when they're decisive and days when they are not. I don't think we can split men into two camps - decisive and indecisive - without oversimplifying. A man can be decisive one day and indecisive the next.
The messaging that reached me as a young man, which I detested, was to be decisive above all else (at the expense of thoughtfulness and consideration) because indecisiveness would repel women even more than being a bad person. That's not the message that I'd like young men to hear. I'd like the world to be a better place than when I was growing up.
This comment is not so much directed at you as it is to others who may come across it and have had a similar experience. Be decisive but if and only when you've taken her and others into account. This is how you earn the respect of your contemporaries.
You can kiss my ass, whipper snapper.
None of what you've said rings false or against my experience.
Fuck off, i had a boss in his late 40s that had two affairs (both in their 30s & blond) in my two years there. A small 5-people company, so not a status thing. To be fair, he looked ageless, but 30s is not too old for dating.
Btw, is this good small talk?
There could be some sort of gray area between the two options of a) whiny wet napkin and b) aggressive asshole?
We should put some Bro Scientists on exploring this ASAP
Did you read the post?