this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2025
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BoycottUnitedStates
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If it’s legal it couldn’t possibly be wrong!
It's perfectly legal for me to shit my pants during a meeting with my boss this afternoon. And because it's legal, that makes it moral.
In fact, if my boss doesn't join me by shitting his own pants, then he's a fucking commie.
God dammit you’re a national hero fartographer. Shit with the pride of the nation behind you! Shit so hard that the truth is heard ringing through the bowels of liberty.
That's right! I shit red, white, and blue! My doctor keeps acting like this isn't manifested patriotism, but I think she's just jealous. -farts the national anthem while coughing up blood-