This is really a monumental societal change.
3rd spaces are nearly completely destroyed, and online seems to be the main option for ppl now.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2025
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I think there are many valid criticisms of online dating, I would not suggest it’s an unalloyed good thing. However, I am old enough to have plenty of experience (trying to) date when online wasn’t an option (limited only to work, through friends, and through church since I was religious when I was younger) and I have to say, I prefer having the online option - or at least I did before I married my wife, who I met online.
Relying only on non-online spaces sucked for me. I just didn’t have the confidence to approach women and ask them out. I put myself in the friend zone all the time. When I first found online dating, I found it refreshing. It lowered that barrier for me and I think probably for a lot of other more socially awkward people.
There’s probably broader social problems when online becomes the dominant form, at least under capitalism.
Sometimes I get the feeling Zoomers think dating was “easier” before apps but I really don’t think that was the case, at least for me.
Yeah, same here. I barely dated before online dating (granted I had a boyfriend for a couple years.) When I found online dating, it felt kind of magic. All of a sudden there were all these men interested in me who were actually cute/smart/funny AND into the same shit as me? It even made me realize what a bad match my ex had been and that some portion of our relationship was just out of convenience because he had actually asked me out. (The men I found myself most compatible with online weren't generally high in confidence and didn't ask many women out.)
Within a month of trying online dating, I found 2 fantastic men I wanted to be in a relationship with (at the same time... Womp womp.) However just within like 5 years of dating one of them, the online dating scene had already felt like it shifted it a lot. It was way more frustrating with a lot more people I wasn't interested in and the really compatible ones fewer and further between (or maybe just harder to find.) I ended up casually dating online in earnest for several years before meeting my husband. It was still easier than meeting someone in person imo (but I'm also a woman) and I definitely understand why younger people might believe in person was better.