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Frankly it helps... your experience tracks with mine as well. I did hear from one colleague that they adopted the Dutch explicit/super-direct communication style and I think it worked for them, so I will give it a shot too. My coworkers are nice so thankfully I believe I will have some ppl to talk to, I'll make sure to do that
Funny you mentioned that... I'm Autistic and somehow the worst boss I've had so far was extremely ASD-coded, while the best one I've had was not on the spectrum but super understanding. And yes there are lots of assholes in academia
In response to your edit - micromanaging is standard. It’s super awesome when the PI is telling you how to run a procedure they haven’t run themselves or haven’t done in 10 years. /s
One thing I forgot to mention is that you’ve got people with zero industry experience and zero managerial training walking into their supervisory role on the merit of their educational and research background. They just don’t know (and have the Dunning Kreuger effect in spades) that they’re being managerial jerks. ASD or not. Huge “manage your manager” challenge in academia.
And with ASD, we get into a habit of trying to communicate with neurotypicals and in America especially it’s expected to sugarcoat and kowtow in every communication with the manager but that’s not always a great thing to do with ASD people as you’re aware. Clarity without confrontation is the fine line that you’ll need to walk.