askchapo

I’m probably rather young (34) compared to the example, but even since I was a teen I had the feeling that I didn’t really had a fear of dying, and my experience last year with cancer kinda confirmed that.

I was diagnosed with testicle cancer, and as soon as the initial exams were confirming it (and I only need to go back to the doctor so that he could confirm and explain the next steps), I was thinking about worst case scenarios and I noticed that I wasn’t really nervous or afraid, my state of mind was more like “in this scenario, what should be my priorities instead?” I was mentally read to find out that it had spread like crazy or some insane terminal situation and the only major worry for me was how could I explains this to my wife/family/friends and how could I help them deal with it better.

In the end, everything went nearly on best case scenarios. The specific kind of cancer I had was very aggressive (so it had spread a bit) but it also reacts extremely well to chemo, so the chances that I’d be completely cured were high. I had to do some pretty intense chemo for some months, and so far there’s no sign of it anymore. I’m just focusing on staying as healthy as I can, mostly because of the chemo impact than the actual cancer.

That said, I’ve always noticed that I had a strange way to deal with death than most people. I haven’t had a close relative (father/sister/etc) death so I’m not 100% sure on what exactly is different on my reactions. Closest so far were grandparents and an “aunt” (not blood related). I tend to “accept” death very easily, and most of my sadness is more due to the suffering I see others going through than anything I actually feel. I do miss my grandparents, especially my grandma, but it’s not something that I suffer over. When I see my father hurting because of it it hurts much more than the feeling that comes from myself.

I hope this can serve as an example of such perspective.