this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
1116 points (99.4% liked)

Greentext

5261 readers
1944 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 241 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Americans now need a wanking license.

[–] yogurtwrong@lemmy.world 11 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

OI OI OI!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⣩⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣾⣿⣋⡡⠤⣀⣷⣄⠠⠤⣉⣿⣷⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣟⢋⣰⣯⠉⠉⣿⢄⠉⢻⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠒⠐⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢿⣋⣀⡄⠠⣢⣀⣩⣛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

WOTS ALL THIS???

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER WANKIN' LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS 'AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN'!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago

Oh shitting hell lads, it's Boris The Bouncer Bot!

Quick lads, run! Scarper before he tackles and smothers you unconscious!

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 19 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Good boy, you don't come until Trump tells you to.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 13 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Trump branded chastity cages.

What I hate most is that that would be an effective tactic for right wing extremist groups. Keeping men sexually frustrated and insecure in their masculinity is a powerful tool for them.

Actually come to think of it, I really wouldn't be surprised if there were a variety of political themed pro dommes these days. It seems like it would be lucrative

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

It seems like it would be lucrative

My mind read that as "it seems like it would be lubricative" and it still made sense.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

Idk I'd be bone dry working that job

[–] conc@lemmy.ml 2 points 16 hours ago

That is revolting

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 46 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Idaho is starting a registry for at-risk men with erections, to prevent impure thoughts. You need to send a picture of your dick, where it will be validated by an evangelical priest.

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

Life begins at erection.

[–] void_turtle@lemmy.blahaj.zone 70 points 1 day ago (1 children)

yew got a lie-sense for that boner?

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 27 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What accent was that supposed to be?

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Raaaahssclaart

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago
[–] BigBrainBrett2517@lemmy.world 13 points 22 hours ago

Slack Jaw Southern, surely

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

Bu....bu....but I thought the Republicans were the party of freedom..........